Bomb Girls: A WWII Love Story
by Team Cullen Boys
Summary: "I need something to live for, someone to cling to in the cold winter in Germany, the unknowns of Japan, or whatever version of hell they send us to—Rose I need you... While I'm gone your loving eyes will remind me of home, your golden curls will bring me back to the country I know, and your lips will tease me with the hope that one day I'll be able to capture them in mine" -Emmett
1. Chapter 1

**So this story was once up at the beginning of summer but I didn't have time to finish it so I deleted it and I've recently finished it so it is back up again. **

**This story is short only ten chapters and I will post a new chapter every day for the next ten days. **

**The time period is WWII so it takes place at the beginning of the 1940s. Just a little background this story was inspired by the Canadian television show Bomb Girls (its on Netflix so catch it sometime, its really good) and also by Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby (I know Gatsby was about the 20's but theme wise this story was inspired by that story of hope, worry, social classes, endless love and carrying that love through a war). **

**It is completely narrated by Rose but contains intimate letters from Emmett. I would describe my Rose as a strong version of Daisy Buchanan. She wants to be cared for (because of her families social standing) but at the same time she wants to love, and she cant have both. But unlike Daisy B. she has a backbone, she isn't afraid to get her hands dirty and isn't afraid to love at the risk of society. **

**After that long background I also want to add that this is probably my favorite story I've written. I really got to delve into life and love in a way that I shied away from and neglected in my other fanfics. **

**Enjoy and review!**

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I don't ask you to love me always like this, but I ask you to remember.

Somewhere inside of me there will always be the person I am tonight.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender is the Night-

...

"Mary Alice I cannot be seen at a place like this I'm engaged now!" I shouted at my dearest friend as she dragged me into the dance hall.

"Oh Rose don't be so selfish, you may be engaged to the richest man in New York but Vera and I aren't, besides tonight the soldiers are out before they get shipped off. Maybe we'll find love and write the most enchanting letters" Mary Alice gushed and Vera grabbing my other hand and pulling me into the smoke filled room.

"While that gorgeous ring of yours is being fitted at the jewelers it doesn't really count right?" Vera joked.

I had never been in a place like this, a dance hall. My parents always said it wasn't proper to come to this part of town. "A family isn't judged by a son's achievements but by a daughters propriety," my mother said to me as a young girl and it was an idiom that has stuck with me through the years and on. She would die if she knew I was here, and then die again when she realizes Mary Alice and Vera brought me here.

The women—or should I say girls—here danced like they had no sense. With loose morals and obviously loose skirts they were flung around like ragdolls and fawning over any man in green that gave them a wink. As harshly as I judged them I couldn't help but envy them. They were so free; in this trying time they seemed to not have a care about worldly affairs. It was beautiful. To be young and have no worries. I think the children of each generation worry more than the next, and worry causes death.

In the blink of an eye a tall dark haired gentleman swept up Mary Alice and Vera was whisked away by a fellow in green, leaving me alone and bereft. Quietly I made my way over from the dance floor to the side of the room were small round tables were set up for conversation but I had no one to converse with. I watched Mary Alice and Vera dance with their respective partners like I've never seen before. It wasn't a waltz or a jig, I don't know what it was but I had never seen either of them dance in that manner.

As they danced their hearts away I sat by myself watching all the soldiers laugh and drink knowing all to well what they would face come morn. Only a select few would return to the US, and of that an even more miniscule select would return as they left with ten fingers, ten toes, and complete sanity.

"Penny for your thoughts?" the masculine voice hummed, it was deep but kind. My downcast eyes met with his outstretched hand that held a shiny bronze penny. I followed the path past his green coat that encased his muscular arms and across his broad chest up to his eyes. They were the prettiest shade of blue and looked so honest and trusting I had to catch my breath before I whispered every tale I knew, every secret I've been told and every lie that has passed my lips.

"I've watched you turn down fellows all night but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't meet you in person and introduce myself" he smiled and he had dimples! Real life dimples, the cutest I'd ever seen.

I was at a loss for words so I just stared. Unladylike manner indeed.

"Emmett McCarty, I just noticed you seem to be thinking very intently. The kind of thoughts for a coffee shop or a library not a dance hall" he added. "Do you mind if I sit?"

"Rosalie Hale, and no go right ahead," I offered clearing out my throat. Very unladylike again.

"So Rosalie Hale what is it your thinking of?"

"You" I admitted bluntly as to which his eyebrow rose and a condescending smirk outlined his lips in response. "Well not _you_ personally but you and your counterparts, I was thinking about the war. About how terrified you all must be."

"Those are quite dreary thoughts for a dance hall."

I shrugged slightly—a habit that my mother hated. "I can't stop thinking about it. Ever since Pearl Harbor it's all I think about. How some died and the rest of us live on. How most of us back here will continue to live on while you young gents are fighting for your lives and for our lives as well" I said quickly just to get it out. I hadn't talked this frank about my thoughts on the war ever. No one ever seemed interested in a woman's thoughts about the war.

"It's all in pursuit of a common good. Besides there are plenty of things women can do to help the effort."

"Like what? Women aren't respected in any way here. We just got the right to vote a little more than 20 years ago. What can we do to bring down the axis?"

"They'll be in need of nurses on the front, I hear it can get pretty bad out there. Female spies are becoming more popular, with a bat of those long lashes I bet you could get both Japanese and German secrets. But you can always build weapons. With all the men gone someone needs to work the war factories. We can't bring down the axis with pebbles and slingshots while they have bombs and U-boats" he laughed carelessly.

"Don't laugh at me, I know you are only saying this for a dance to show off in front of your comrades" I shook my head at him. "Men don't like feministic talk."

"On the contrary I'm a horrible dancer, have been all my life and I'm guessing you are as well since I haven't seen you leave this table since you came in. Also my intentions with you are nothing but pure conversational at the moment. And I also believe there is nothing more attractive than a powerful woman, hence my presence here with you at this very table" he said with all seriousness. "I apologize if I made you think otherwise, I did not mean to offend you."

"Apology accepted."

We spent the rest of the night talking about everything but the war after that. Laughing shamelessly at the gent that ripped his pants on the dance floor and drinking the kinds of drinks a lady should stay away from. But I enjoyed his company. His smile was infectious and drew me closer to him emotionally. There was something about him that was trustworthy and honest and gentle although his girth claimed otherwise. His body was all demand, a treacherous machine that could destruct me with a fist if it so wanted. But every word from his lips had a ringing to it, like a song, everything flowed together seamlessly and without effort. He was so comfortable, so cool; it was hard to think he was one of the men protecting my country. He, himself was a contradiction between his body and his soul.

"Ladies and gents our night has reached its peak and is coming to a close, this is the last song," the singer from the band announced over the microphone and a slow harping began to fill the dance hall with the melodious sound of sadness and romance. A most horrific combination surely, but one that matched the longing in my heart for Emmett to not end our beautiful conversation.

"I know I said earlier that I didn't want a dance—"

"I'd love to" I finished his thought as he got up and held his hand out for me. As I held onto his hand there was a sense of security there that I had never experienced before with any other man, not even my fiancée. They were warm and masculine and felt weathered with thick skin from laborious work. His hand held my delicate one that hadn't seen a days work but trembled with longing. His hand was strong and safe… and I found myself never wanting to let go of it.

Once we reached the dance floor Emmett spun me and held me close. So tightly like he was afraid I would slip through his fingers. But his gentle squeeze made it all the more comforting to be in his arms. His strength guarded me from my own fears, the fears that had been embedded in me ever since December 7, 1941. I rested my head on his chest and breathed in his scent so I would never forget this man because it was likely I'd never see him again.

We didn't so much dance as we did just melt into one another in a way only kindred spirits could. We shifted from one foot to the other with the weight of the world on our shoulders, with America relying on our abilities. While he answered when the call came I didn't have nearly an ounce of courage in me to serve only the fear of the unknown. It caused me to worry, and worry kills.

"Are you scared?" I whispered as I clung to him.

"More than you'll ever know" he murmured and I could feel his cool breath tickle my hair as his fingers danced in my curls. "My mother has already lost my two brothers in Germany. I'm all she has left in her ailing health I'm all she lives for now. After talking to you I realize I have little to live for—"

"You mustn't think like that Emmett, those kind of thoughts will only get you in trouble" I chastised him tenderly and continued to follow his lead on the dance floor.

"I need something to live for, someone to cling to in the cold winter in Germany, the unknowns of Japan, or whatever version of hell they send us to—Rose I need you" he spoke softly, his words nothing more than a lullaby to soothe my troubled soul. They flowed over me like a blanket of security and love, but I rejected it as a petulant child would.

"What? I'm…" _engaged_, I wanted to say the word but I couldn't. I couldn't dash his hopes. "I'm shocked," I finally admitted.

"Will you marry me?" he asked bluntly and I stopped dancing. "I promise I'll do right by you, you're the kind of woman a guy like me is lucky to even lay eyes on let alone talk to or even better dance with. I don't want to go out to the frontlines without you or your memory. While I'm gone your loving eyes will remind me of home, your golden curls will bring me back to the country I know, and your lips will tease me with the hope—the hope that one day I'll be able to capture them in mine."

The most endearing, romantic words I had ever heard were spoken to me in a crowed smoky dance hall by a man that I adored in a way that was unreal. I couldn't marry him; I was engaged to someone else. But I couldn't say no, if I was what he needed to survive wouldn't it be my duty to my country to help any way possible?

It was an unfortunate thought but men were dying by the thousands each and every day, the chances of him coming home were limited. I didn't want to think like that but it was the truth. It was the sad, sad truth and the thought brought tears to my eyes because I would never see Emmett McCarty again.

So I said yes. I promised this man I've known for three hours my undying devotion, my promise to wait for him, to write him and to love him from far away.

And the strange thing was I did love him, in a way we had a connection that could easily be love. I believed you only got one true love in your life and what if Emmett McCarty from Gatlinburg, Tennessee was it? What if he was it and he was ripped from my heart by a German U-boat or a Japanese bomb? I doubt Cupid would give me a do-over so I promised him everything I could. And when he asked for my address I couldn't run the risk of his letters passing by mama so I told him I'd start our correspondence and had him write all the information I'd need on my handkerchief.

Saying goodbye was the hardest though. We stood outside the dance hall with hands clasped together whispering the broken promises of tomorrow. As a parting I kissed him softly because I knew I'd never get a second chance and for the moment I wanted to live with no regrets.

…

The next evening at dinner as I sat in the grand dining room of my city castle I thought about how trivial it all seemed. While the rest of the country rolled up their sleeves and fought I sat in a silk dress with escargot laid before me.

I had brought up the subject of working to Mary Alice and Vera the night before on our way home, and their response was that if I could convince my parents they'd go along with it knowing my parents would undoubtedly be the hardest to convince.

"The girls and I want to join the forces" I announced at dinner during a dead silence.

"Excuse me darling, what?" my mother Lillian gasped dropping her fork.

"I want to help the war effort. I can build ammunition."

"You've never worked a day in your life you'd be more trouble than help dear" my fiancée Royce laughed.

"I have two able hands why can't I? I am a fast learner. They need all women to help while the abled men are away."

"That's preposterous! You are a _lady_ Rosalie; ladies do not work in factories or wear trousers for heavens sake! You will stop this nonsensical talk immediately! You are to be married to Royce next winter do you think he wants his future wife to be the next Rosie the Riveter with dirt underneath her fingernails?"

"Have you ever thought that I am a _Rosie_ as well?" I taunted hinting at my nickname. "Father what do you think?"

"Yes darling, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this inane matter" Lillian rolled her eyes in a very unladylike manner as she would say.

"I actually think it is not such a bad idea," my father admitted.

"Oh thank you Daddy I knew you'd understand" I leaped out of my chair and ran to hug his neck.

"It would really help with my reelection campaign, 'Senators daughter lends a hand to the war effort' perfect headline for the Sunday Times with a picture of my beautiful Rosie as the centerfold" he kissed my cheek.

"That isn't why I want to do it," I told him taking my hands away from his neck.

"I know but it would be beneficial to me and help you with whatever moral justice you are trying to prove to yourself. It's a win-win situation."

"Richard you cannot be serious, you are not going to send our little girl into a bomb factory just for votes?" Lillian objected.

"Of course not. She wouldn't build bombs but perhaps I can pull some strings and get her and the girls some clerical work in one of the offices, 'Society girls roll their sleeves for the gents in green'. Yes that is it, I will make the call in the morning!"

That wasn't at all what I wanted to do. But I had to start somewhere so after dinner I rang Mary Alice and Vera telling them the news. They were shocked that I convinced them so quickly but when I told them of my father's publicity endeavors they had no trouble understanding.

Before bed I thought about my friend Emmett and I wondered what he was doing at that very moment. If he was safe or if he was thinking about me. I thought about writing him but couldn't make myself do it until I found an address where the letters could safely be sent.

…

A few days later I was sitting in the passengers seat of Royce's Rolls Royce convertible parked in front of American Munitions bomb and ammunitions factory. Mary Alice and Vera were in the backseat staring at the large intimidating building.

"Rose don't you think this has gone on long enough?" Royce asked with eyes hidden behind sunglasses.

"Vera, Mary Alice could you give us a moment?" I asked of my two friends and they obliged getting out of the car and waiting for me by the gates.

"If you were trying to send a message your mother and I we hear it loud and clear. You want to help I understand but is this really the way to do it? This type of work isn't meant for _our_ kind. I hear our troops are in desperate need of socks, I think you'd be better suited at home knitting socks than building bombs" Royce objected.

"I wont be building bombs I'll be filing papers besides I can knit socks in my free time. I'll be quite alright" I assured him.

"Well if that is your final stance then I guess I cannot change your mind. But I have something that will brighten up that dreary factory" he smiled pulling a ring box out of his breast pocket.

"My ring, you got it back so quickly!" I grinned admiring the stunning Princess cut diamond ring from Tiffany's as he slipped it onto my finger.

"I had to get it back immediately so everyone would know your mine," he said and I when I looked into his eyes I saw a flash of something terrifying, something possessive. It made me instinctively retract but in the flash of a second it was gone and he was back to smiling.

"Well thank you Royce, its lovely" I kissed him tenderly on the cheek and retreated from the car a little confused by our altercation.

"Are you alright Rose dear?" Vera asked slipping her arm through mine.

"Oh yes, perfectly alright. Royce just delivered my ring" I showed them.

"It is so pretty Rosalie, I bet your mother had to find it for him, men are hopeless with jewelry" Mary Alice laughed.

We walked up to the gate and waited in line behind the other women until we were allowed entrance. Once we went through our fellow coworkers were crowded around in little cliques smoking cigarettes and talking amongst themselves. It reminded me of primary and finishing school when it seemed so hard to make new friends.

"Well if it isn't a couple of rich girls to make us all feel bad," someone shouted but I didn't know whom. I clung to Mary Alice tightly for comfort and security even thought she was less than 5 feet she always had a sense of bravery about her that I admired.

"Don't worry about her," an ash blonde woman with a cigarette hanging from her mouth said, and we all took that as an invitation to approach her. "Cigarette?" she asked holding out an almost empty pack.

"We don't smoke" Mary Alice answered for us.

The woman just shrugged. "My names Jessica, what about you three?"

"That's Vera, Rosalie and I'm Mary Alice."

"Mary Alice? That sure is a mouthful, are you from the south?" Jessica asked.

"Not personally but family is from Mississippi" she answered.

"That explains it, I've always been told to never trust a woman with two names… or a confederate for that matter. But you seem like a nice girl so pick one."

"I'm sorry I don't quite understand…" Mary Alice shook her head.

"Pick a name. Mary or Alice" Jessica demanded.

"I think you should go with Alice! It's so becoming" Vera added with a grin.

"Alice it is then!" Mary Alice—I mean Alice exclaimed.

"There now we can be friends" Jessica laughed and held her hand out to shake Alice's and when she did three other women who were introduced as Lauren, Angela and Bella approached us.

"So what are three rich girls like you slumming it here for? Are times hard on you too or is your presence alone charity?" the blonde one, um Lauren taunted.

"We're here to help the war effort same as the rest of you" I told her.

"Not in those clothes your not," she laughed. "Silk stockings and oil don't mix darling."

I read somewhere that times were so difficult that women were going out in their bare legs and pretending to wear stockings by drawing lines down the back of their legs with ink. Silk was an amenity afforded only to the rich in this time of war, and I'm afraid I didn't even take notice to the rising cost of silk stockings. None of my friends did.

"We are just working in the office" Vera clarified.

"Oh of course you'd be working in the office, pretty little rich girls like you are here just to feel good about yourselves to rebel against your parents in a feminist pursuit but for the rest of us we don't want to work, we _have_ to. We have families to take care of instead of the other way around" Lauren spoke harshly but this time her jab was directed at me. Before I had a chance to reply she walked away.

"Lauren is always a little firecracker, she'll warm up to you soon enough" Angela said in wake of Laurens absence.

"A firecracker in a bomb factory? Doesn't sound like a good mix to me" Vera laughed. She was the type of person that could find the humor in almost any situation, which made her so endearing to be around.

I looked at the small brunette, Bella and wondered why she didn't say much. She had long hair like mine and didn't follow the trend of short hair like Vera and Alice did. She was very pretty in a classic understated way and I wanted to know her story. But I didn't get a chance to talk to her because the work bell was rung and everyone lined up to be inspected by the work mistress Mrs. Cope who made me remove my engagement ring.

Alice, Vera, and I were lead upstairs to the office where we spent the day filing and organizing and making coffee while the girls on the floor actually did something worthwhile.

"You girls go ahead I'll meet you at dining hall I just need to use the restroom" I told my friends before our lunch break.

I walked down the stairs to the girls lockers and used the restroom and upon my exit I was blocked by a beefy arm sandwiching myself in between him and cement wall.

"You're a pretty one," the man said.

"Um, thank you will you please excuse me" I said softly trying to move around him but he blocked me again.

"What do you say you and I get back in those lockers and try something new? A classy girl like you probably doesn't know much in the way of pleasing a man" he said into my ear this time and his fingers were at the neck of my blouse attempting to unbutton it.

"Please—"

"You don't have to beg sweetheart," he purred in my ear as my heart began to pound out of my chest.

"Leave her alone!" I heard a female voice shout. "You heard me, get out of here before I report this!"

The man immediately withdrew his hand from my chest and I collapsed on the floor in a heap of sobs and hysterics.

"Are you alright Rosalie?" I looked up and was a little surprised to see Bella crouched in front of me. She pulled out her handkerchief and offered it to me kindly. "You'll have a grow a thick skin to work here. The women outnumber the men but they still have more power than all of us combined."

"I thought—I thought he was going to—"

"I know… they are like flies just keep swatting them away but just know they'll always come back" she spoke softly and rubbed my back calming my nerves until the sobbing had subsided. "There, are you better now? I think we only have 20 minutes for lunch now. Come on get up, don't want to wrinkle that pretty frock of yours," she said lending me a hand and helping me get up.

"Do I look alright? Has my mascara run?" I asked her.

She just took her hanky and ran it under my eyes. "Good as new now."

"Thank you Bella, you've been really kind."

"I see no point in being malicious. If we ever want to get through this war we have to stick together" she smiled sweetly and took my hand in hers as she lead the way to the dining hall giving me hope that we would survive this. Her smile said so.

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**Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Three will be up tomorrow.**

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Friends and good manners will carry you where money won't go.

-Margaret Walker-

_… I've thought about you nearly every day since we met and I pray all is well for you in your travels and in combat. Speaking of combat you never told me what it is you really do, like your specialty. I would really like to know this so I can tell the girls my fiancée is an arms man or an airman or an army cook, only joking dearest._

"Come in" I shouted when there was a knock on my door as I tried to write to Emmett. I had crumbled up phrases of broken letters littering my trashcan as I tried to get my wording just right for my first note to him.

"Ms. Hale I was washing your laundry and I found this" the housekeeper said holding up Bella's handkerchief. "It doesn't have your monogram and I've never seen it before, should I toss it?"

"No, no! It belongs to a friend of mine," I told her.

_A friend of mine_… over the two weeks I've spent working at the factory Bella and I had become extremely close. A friend that I could perhaps ask to do me a favor…

"Press it and box it please I'd like to return it to her, and also can you get me the address of an Isabella Swan?"

…

Bella lived in a part of the city I had never ventured before. My driver thought I had gotten the address wrong when we ended up here but this was the address in the phonebook for Swan.

I knocked on her door Sunday afternoon with Bella's handkerchief pressed and folded in a satin box to return to her.

"Hey! Hey you there in the green suit!" someone shouted, I was indeed wearing a green suit so I assumed this person was speaking to me. I looked past the balcony and saw a robust woman hanging clothes on clothesline.

"How do you do" I greeted her.

"Are you here to see the Swan girl?" the heavily accented woman asked.

"Yes, she's a friend of mine, do you know her?"

"Course I know her I'm her landlady! You tell your little friend if she's short on this months rent again she's gone!" the woman shouted at me.

"Um. Okay" I really thought financial matters were something to be discussed in private not in front of the entire neighborhood, but I knocked again and waited.

"Rosalie, this is a surprise—um would you like to come in?" Bella asked in the doorway.

"It shouldn't be a surprise between friends."

"No I suppose not" she closed the door behind me and I looked around her living room. It was homey and tidy with everything in order. Quaint. Yes that would be the word to describe it. Quaint. It was much different from my home where there was always a bustle of servants and housekeepers bustling around and the sounds of heeled shoes tap-tap-tapping on the wood floors. If you listened intently enough you could hear my mothers shrill voice demanding something of someone somewhere on the property. At Bella's home it was quiet, besides the sounds of children's laughter on the streets below the only thing you could hear was our quiet breathing and the tick of the grandfather clock that hung over the fireplace. "Can I get you something to drink? Tea? Coffee?"

"Chamomile would be lovely" I thanked her with my eyes—it was a trick my mother taught me—and took a seat on her living room couch.

"As a friend can I politely ask why a home visit was in order? I am going to see you tomorrow at work" she inquired after she had made the tea and sat next to me on the couch.

"I wanted to personally return this" I handed her the box.

She eyed it suspiciously and unwrapped it. "My handkerchief?"

"Yes my housekeeper found it in mixed with my things and I thought I should return it" I replied sipping the tea.

"You could have just given this to me at work, you didn't have to come all the way down here… or press it" she said.

"Nonsense I was in the neighborhood" I lied and I had a feeling she knew I was lying because there was a pregnant pause afterwards. "I don't mean to sound invasive but your landlady asked me to deliver a message about this months rent being short."

"Oh… she got to you huh?" Bella shook her head and sighed. "It's just everything is piling up and I don't get much from the factory you know women get a nickel for every quarter a man makes, and I watch my neighbors children for a few dollars a couple of hours a week while she works. But I give the landlady everything and I've been living off of bread crumbs and sardines and it is never enough."

"What about your father? He should surely be able to find work with all the young men gone. He could get a job at the factory and make three times what you make" I informed her and she looked like she was about to cry. "There, there now tears aren't necessary. What's the matter?"

"My father was called to war months ago. There was no way he could get out of it. He was able and within age due to the age restriction increase so he had to leave but it's been so hard without him here."

"What about your mother? Can't she work alongside you?"

"That would be perfect if I knew where she was. She left us when I was young and writes sparingly each time with a different return address. She wouldn't send for me" she sniffed.

Bella was only a girl, no more than my age of 18 surely. She was far too young for this responsibility and far too young to just be eating crackers and sardines this was a time when she needed to enhance her figure!

"Do your fathers wages come to you?" I asked her.

"They are supposed to but none have come yet, I suppose it's due to all the ciaos, when I write my father I try not to mention these things because they would only worry him."

"Well he doesn't have to worry anymore and neither do you," I told her going into my pocketbook and handing her an envelope. "For you."

"What's this?" she asked.

"My wages for the last two weeks. I make just as much as you do but maybe if you double your wages you can finally make peace with your landlady."

"I can't take your money Rosalie" she attempting to hand it back but I pushed it towards her again.

"Yes you can. I don't need the money and I've been wondering all this time what I should do with it. I contemplated charity or putting it into bonds like the government wants but I think they should go to you."

"I don't know if I can repay you—" she said warily.

"I don't need repayment. Think of it as a weekly gift from one friend to another" I smiled.

"You don't know how much this means to me, I thought I would have to move to the working house" she got up to hug me tightly.

"Actually speaking of repayment I had an ulterior motive for coming over here."

"Name it and its yours."

"Before I tell you what it is you mustn't think ill of me" I began.

"How could I ever think of you as a bad person? You've only been kind to me."

"You might after I tell you this" I began and then went into the whole story of Emmett and I and how I knew there was something about him that I just couldn't let go of. How I couldn't say no when he asked me to marry him because I felt an obligation to not let him fight with a broken heart. And then I told her how all of this was wrong because I was engaged.

"I don't understand how I can help you then" she replied once I told her everything.

"I need a return address so he can write me back. I run the risk of getting caught if he sends his letters to my house but I was wondering if I could have them sent here and you could give them to me" I asked of her. I would have gone to Alice or Vera but there mothers are snoops and would ask too many questions.

"Of course you can, I have no problems with you using my address. But what about your fiancée, don't you love him?"

"In a way I do but it's completely different with Emmett. He made my heart stop and he respected me as a person where with my fiancée I don't receive that kind of affection."

"But what if he—I'm sorry what's your fiancées name?"

"Royce King III."

"You're engaged to Royce King!" Bella shouted.

"Yes" I answered. "It hasn't been officially declared in the papers but we are indeed engaged. My mother is throwing a big party to announce it."

"His family owns like 60% of the railroads," she told me something I was already quite aware of. "What if he finds out about this?"

"I know all of this, I know he is a very powerful man and his father is even more powerful and I know I'm playing with fire but marriage is something I don't take lightly. I need to be loved and respected and admired and if I have a chance of that with Emmett why not pursue it? But I don't think I really do have a chance with how the war is coming out, he probably wont make it home." I told her and then realized my blunder in reference to Bella's father. "Oh I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine. It's the truth and I have to accept that but I believe he will come home safely" she assured me but it seemed like she was trying to convince herself of this more than she was me.

"Your right. Again I am sorry. You never told be about your love life? Are you sweet on anyone?" I asked with a grin to change the subject quickly.

"Not really I only know one boy, he lives in the neighborhood his name is Jacob" she blushed.

"Continue please" I urged her.

"It's nothing really he's had a childhood crush on me for ages but he is 22 so he was one of the first to be sent off."

"Oh I'm so sorry about that. Do you write him often?"

"As often as I can" she sighed. "What about Royce? Isn't he around that age? Didn't he have to register for the draft?"

I could trust Bella. It was a family secret but Bella was just as trustworthy as Emmett and I would tell him if he asked.

"You cant tell anyone this Bella but you know my father is the Senator right?" she nodded. "Well Royce's father went to my father about getting his sons name removed from the draft list once we were engaged and technically it was considered a family favor. Daddy's hands were tied because he is my fiancée after all. So daddy rang the Selective Service office and somehow got his name off the list."

Bella didn't say anything for a while and I thought she was angry with me.

"So your father paid to have Royce's name removed from the lottery list?" Bella asked quietly.

"You know how men don't discuss these matters with women. I don't know if he _paid_ anything it might have just been a favor granted."

"I cannot believer this," she whispered.

"Believe what?"

"That you would want to be married to a coward," she said and I gaped at her.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, your fiancée is a coward. There are boys younger than him barely 18 that are fighting and your soon-to-be husband is here buying you expensive rings and other frivolous trinkets," she cried.

"You don't understand it isn't Royce's fault. His father didn't want him to go because he's his only son and the sole heir to his entire empire. If he died the company would have to be sold or given to some distant second cousin. Royce knows nothing of this I only know because I overheard daddy on the telephone. Bella you must believe me" I grasped her hands but she removed them from mine but she shook her head.

"I believe there are separate rules in this country for the rich and the poor, unfair rules that distinguish the value of one persons life over another's. I think its time for you to leave" she stood and opened the door for me.

"Bella I didn't mean to hurt you but you did ask me—" I argued as I stood to leave.

"I should really learn to stop asking questions when I am not prepared for the answer."

"I do hope this will not affect our friendship," I pleaded on my way out the door.

"Goodbye Rosalie."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Four will be posted tomorrow**

* * *

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for father's protection.

-Sigmund Freud-

From the outside looking in you'd think America was at peace, that the world was at peace. All of the women in beautiful gowns and handsome men in tuxedos at my engagement party said so. But the newspaper headlines begged to differ.

The world was crying while we drank champagne and toasted to my engagement. People were starving while we discussed upcoming events on our social calendar and disgraced Laura Thatcher for wearing a gown she wore last season even though we knew her family was going through financial turmoil. Soldiers on all sides were dying while everyone here was _dying_ for their turn to speak to me and make sure they were invited to the wedding of the century.

It was an immense tragedy amongst all everlasting joy.

"Smile darling" I heard Royce whisper in my ear taking me out of my thoughts.

I plastered on the best smile I could manage at the moment. The photographers were trying to get our picture for our announcement in the newspaper; I hear it is front-page news on the Sunday paper. They took pictures for a long time and told me how pretty I was until my ears became numb to the words.

"Royce I need to ask you something," I told him once they were finished.

"Can't it wait? This is our engagement party darling, we have guest to entertain" he reminded me.

"I can but it's a matter that has been plaguing me for days, please?" I begged of him tenderly.

"Alright we can slip away for a moment" he reasoned and led the way to the library, which was on the other wing of the house that was closed off during the party. "What question was so urgent you had to ask me now?" Royce inquired fixing himself a glass of hors d'age brandy from daddy's side table while I took a seat atop the writing desk beside him.

"Have you wondered why you haven't been called?"

"Called where?"

"To war."

"Where are you headed with this Rose?"

"Its just that I know something that might upset you" I admitted.

"We don't have all night, go on with it."

"Well a while back I overheard daddy on the telephone and he was talking about how he got your name removed from the lottery list. I don't know who was on the other line but I assume it was your father—"

"It was me," he said coolly drowning his brandy in one gulp.

"Why would you ask daddy to do that?" I gaped.

"I didn't ask him, trust me I would love to come back a war hero and single handedly defeat the Nazi regime. Your father said I had to stay here to protect the King name since he had no one to protect the Hale name anymore. It was the only way he'd give me his blessing to propose to you," he explained.

"I can't believe he'd do this," I muttered to myself. I knew exactly why he did it, it was because of Benjamin but I couldn't believe he actually would go through with it and keep it all hidden from me. I felt utterly betrayed… by my own family nonetheless.

"You can't say anything to him though," Royce mentioned.

"How can I not? He's made my fiancée a coward! That is how other women look at you Royce, as a coward who is not willing to fight for his country," I informed him.

"We've been telling people I failed my examination due to an old football injury at Harvard. The old knee ain't what it used to be" he joked with a laugh. "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure" I replied and took his hand on the way back to the grand ballroom. As I held onto his I began to reminisce about Emmett's hand. How his hands had seen work and strife that Royce's hadn't and how strong and secure he was while Royce's hands only led way to privilege. As we passed the large front double doors a latecomer made his way through.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your long golden hair" instantly I knew who it was and a smile lined the corners of my lips as I turned to greet my oldest, dearest companion.

"Prince Charming! Or should I greet the devil in disguise" I ran to hug my childhood friend Edward Cullen.

"More beautiful than the last time I laid eyes on you" he whispered as he lifted me off the ground spun me as he used to do when were only children.

Before I could respond I heard Royce behind me clear his throat.

"Oh introductions yes, Royce this is my dearest friend Edward Cullen and Edward this is my fiancée Royce King."

"Pleasure to meet you, I've heard so much about you" Royce lied; I haven't said a word about Edward to Royce knowing about men and their jealousy issues.

"Only the good I hope" Edward smiled that dazzling smile of his and shook Royce's hand. "Royce King? Are you a Harvard man?"

"Yes, graduate of 1941" he answered.

"I thought the name was familiar. Your father is esteemed alumni at the school, my father went there as well he spoke of him today, said they met at the alumni luncheon."

"Yes it seems we have a lot in common. Rosalie, we better get back inside. I'm sure everyone is wondering where you are," Royce said grabbing my arm to pull me away.

"You go ahead I'd like to talk to Edward for a bit." He looked at me warily and I assured him with my eyes that I would be alright.

"Alright, just remember we have guests" he let go of my arm and retreated to the grand ballroom.

"Your fiancée seems like a bore," Edward drawled once Royce was gone.

"Our friendship probably frightens him," I answered.

"As it should. I should frighten all suitors" he joked sticking his chest out with mock masculinity as I poked it back in.

"Down tiger."

"Honestly Rosie, your engaged?" he asked and I nodded. "Pinch me it can't be real. Ouch! I didn't mean that hard! Be careful your nail lacquer will peel," he teased. "I always thought I'd be the one to take your hand."

"I don't think our marriage would work with the fact that I can't stand to be around you most times. That and because you tend to have three sweethearts at any given time, my trust in your fidelity is underwhelming."

"Rip a mans heart out why don't you, mine is bleeding for you! For you I'd stay true and honest, scouts honor" he held up his three fingers.

I never loved Edward and he never loved me either truly. It has been a continuous joke for us amongst the years when Edward _thought_ he loved me when he was thirteen and proclaimed so to me on Halloween when I went as Rapunzel and he as my Prince Charming. I, the spunky nine-year old told him he was a nuisance and he, the devil he is, proceeded to steal my candy as revenge. After that Edward Cullen was a known lady wanderer.

"Need I remind you that you were only a boy scout of two weeks? Were you there long enough to even take the scouts oath?" I laughed.

"You know Rosie one of these days your going to realize you're madly in love with me."

"When that day approaches can you warn me so I can have my memorial dress pressed and ready?" I laughed again. "What happened to Tanya? Last time we talked you said you loved her more than me."

Edward was the type to always fall in love. But the thing was he fell in love with every fiber of his being. Edward was a romantic but only for a short period of time. Any girl would be lucky to have him if they could hold his attention for more than a few weeks. Edward got bored very quickly and broke more hearts than most have in a lifetime. He was artistic and loved to read and thought women took too much of his free time, they on the other hand thought he didn't give enough of his free time.

"Apparently she didn't feel the same way…"

"I'm sorry I know this was your longest relationship, an entire semester right?"

"The jokes are endless with you" he shook his head.

"Only teasing darling. Tell me what happened?" I said sitting him down on the antique grandfather chairs in the foyer.

"She said I was fickle. Literally she used the word 'fickle' to describe me."

"Well you did change your major quite a few times," I admitted.

"To explore my options and broaden my spectrum of knowledge!" Like I said Edward was incredibly studious and knew a little about everything but a lot about nothing. Which came in handy sometimes when we played charades. "But fickle? You know what her real problem was? She wanted me to propose and I wouldn't."

"Making you… fickle. She's a young, beautiful girl expecting marriage is not anything too outlandish. Face it Edward you just aren't made for marriage. You'll be one of those old geezers still giving girls your class ring at the age of 80."

"This isn't a joking matter! I have an irrational fear of commitment which is why I have to tell you something," he said getting serious on me.

Edward rarely got serious… unless he was doing arithmetic.

"You know I just graduated and I have been contemplating my options. I could go to graduate school and work towards my doctorate in medicine like my father or I could take my call and join the army."

"The army? Are you serious?"

"Yes, I was drafted in January but I talked to Selective Service and they allowed me to stay here to finish my semester so I could graduate. I thought my call came at the perfect time. I mean joining the army is a commitment, a yearlong life changing commitment. I think it will be good for me."

"Well I am so very proud of you" I hugged him tightly. "When do you leave?"

"Thank you and not for two months which means we can celebrate my birthday together one last time" he gave me that cocky grin of his.

"We will celebrate your birthday many times, this will not be your last" I guaranteed him.

"Rosalie!" the ringing shrill of my mothers voice filled the foyer.

"Let me go work my charm on Mrs. Hale before she wrings your neck" Edward winked. Somehow he could always win over Lillian. Ever since he was a child and would bring her flowers he had plucked from _our_ garden tracking mud into the house Lillian would always smile and kiss his forehead… then chastise me for being a chubby little thing and eating the chocolates.

…

It was two in the morning now and the party had died down hours ago and the staff had tidied up but I found I couldn't sleep. I went down stairs to the kitchen for a glass on milk to settle me.

On the way back from the kitchen I passed the library and noticed the lights were still on. Quietly I went inside to turn them off and saw my father on one of the couches reading.

"Hi daddy."

"Hello princess, what are you still doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep, I suppose the excitement of tonight got to me" I said sitting next to him. "I thought a glass of milk would help."

"I couldn't rest either" he rubbed his face and closed the book.

"What are you reading there? _The Last Tycoon_, Fitzgerald was Benjamin's favorite author. Is this his copy?" I asked taking the book from his hands and opening the cover where B.R. Hale was scribbled in the top left hand corner.

"It was mailed with a few of his other belongings earlier this week" my father replied.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked yet received no answer. "Well then will you admit to removing Royce's name from the draft list?"

"How do you know about that?"

"I might be a woman but I am far from stupid. I know why you did it. I just don't want to believe it."

"I've already lost one son to this war I can't loose another. My name—our name will be lost forever," he grumbled.

"Is that all you can think of? Your name? If you want I can remain Rosalie Hale for the rest of my life. My children will grow up as Hales instead of Kings."

"Don't be so liberal darling, of course you'll take Royce's name do you want the Hale's to be products of scandal and gossip as well?" he objected to my suggestion as I knew he would.

"What you did was illegal."

"It was not _illegal_. I don't know if you completely understand what it is that I do, but members of the Senate are entitled to certain privileges, and everyone has someone they want to protect."

"Why not me then, am I not _worthy_ of your protection" I provoked him with venom seething from my teeth.

"You're the only one left I have to protect" he said gently. "I did this for you. There is no man on this planet that is worthy of your beautiful hand… but Royce comes awfully close. I was protecting your husband for you so you wouldn't have to be a widow. No, _worse_ an _unmarried_ young girl whose fiancée fell in battle, a cliché."

It fell silent after he said that.

"No one in the world is worthy?" I asked thinking of Emmett.

"Not a soul princess."

…

I woke groggy the next morning but ready for work nonetheless. After Royce dropped Alice, Vera, and I off at the factory, we walked past the security gates into what we now know was referred to as 'the courtyard' and found our group of friends Jessica, Angela, Bella and Lauren—who had not warmed up to me yet.

Jessica was smoking a cigarette as usual and was the first to greet us.

"Look who is front page news you've trumped Japanese submarines in Australia which have been bumped to the dreaded second page!" Lauren held up the paper throwing it around sarcastically. "The headline reads, New Yorks golden girl and the _King_ of the railroad are engaged! Do I need to continue with the article?"

"No thank you Jessica I think we all get the picture" I requested of her.

"There is even a photograph, see? Rose you look so beautiful" Angela gushed and I thanked her.

"Do you mind if I have a word with you in private Rose?" Bella asked softly as they continued to pass the paper around and giggle over my engagement.

"Of course" was my natural response. I was planning on apologizing to her again anyways if she was willing to listen.

We walked a small distance from the rest of the girls near the fences and Bella began by saying, "I want to apologize for kicking you out of my house. It was rude and it was unnecessary and I am sorry. What happened with Royce wasn't your doing and it was juvenile but it took me a while to realize that."

"I guess in a non-direct way it is my fault" I explained the happenings of my engagement party and how my father did all of this on his own accord to protect me.

"I want to apologize as well on my fathers behalf, I know what he did was wrong and I can understand how it hurt you."

"I shouldn't have been so sensitive. I just thought how this war never affected your kind. I mean you don't have to grow your own food, work in a factory by force, or have your friends and family shipped over seas" she stated.

"If you think this war hasn't affected me your sadly mistaken, it has tormented me since before we entered" I began immediately thinking of my fallen brother. "This war has affected me in ways I _hope_ you never understand. I had an older brother, Benjamin. He enlisted in the navy against my fathers' wishes and was sent to Hawaii, Pearl Harbor on the USS Arizona. December 7, 1941 is a day that will forever be engraved in my memory as the day my family was divided. We spent the entire day watching the television and listening to the radio for news of survivors. You don't know hurt until two officers are standing on your doorstep with the look of death in their eyes. The worst part was mother who tried to plan him the best memorial to remember him by but his body was never found. My only brother, my best friend is at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean and I'll never see him again" I informed her.

It was the first time I had spoken about my brother's death since it happened. I thought about it daily but speaking it made it so much more real. My family had swept it under the rug. My parents didn't like to talk about it or talk about him.

My father was grooming him for politics and was set to have him run for the House of Representatives after his early graduation with Royce's class. Benjamin wanted to be president one day and he thought all the truly great presidents served in the military some way. My father argued him on this until he was blue in the face but Benjamin made up his mind and wouldn't be swayed. The summer of 1941 he enlisted in the navy was on a ship here in New York so I would visit him often because we were very close. In September he was sent to set sail on the USS Arizona and remain in Hawaii. I knew the distance from him would be hard but I didn't foresee and dangers in Hawaii.

Daddy was so mad at his passing like all his hopes and dreams sunk on the USS Arizona that horrible day. I was never jealous of Benjamin but he had always been my parent's favorite. He was the oldest and he was the only son, anything I ever did paled in comparison. I was beautiful so they didn't have to worry about me much; they knew I would marry well. Benjamin though, he had to succeed, he had to become something greater than was ever imaginable. After he died they relied on me. They pushed my relationship with Royce further and made sure I was seen in all the right places doing all the right things.

"Rose I—" Bella began to say.

"I don't believe it Rapunzel!" I turned and saw Edwards two door Aston Martin parked outside the gates of the factory.

"What are you doing here?" I rolled my eyes at his presence. This is what I mean about him being a nuisance.

"I went to your house to call on you this morning to see if you'd like to take a trip up to the Gold Coast with me this weekend, just like old times for my birthday and your mother said you had a job in a war factory of all places. I didn't believe her so I had to come to see for myself and the image is nothing but exemplary" he teased on as he walked over to us and pretended to take a photograph.

"Edward this is my friend Bella Swan, Bella meet the torment of my life Edward Cullen" I introduced them.

"I'd shake your hand if this fence wasn't blocking us" he grinned.

"Quite alright, its nice to meet you" she smiled brightly at him and I looked back at Edward and he still had the goofiest grin on his face.

"Anyways I'd love to accompany you to the Gold Coast. Are your parents opening the house" I asked him but he seemed to ignore me. "Edward?"

"Oh yes, perfect! And if you would bring Mary Alice, my major stopped by yesterday as we have become quite close and he saw Mary Alice gardening outside her home and was absolutely smitten by her" he laughed.

"Well then, in hopes of all romantic pursuits I will see if she wants to come. Perhaps we can push them into a closet like children."

"Of course! Bring along your _boring_ fiancée as well. We'll make party out of it and bask in each other's company!"

"What about you? Don't you need someone to tag along with?" I asked him. There would be two couples and himself, I didn't want things to be awkward. It was his birthday after all.

"Don't worry about me I'll survive this once on my own. It was nice to meet you Bella, Rose" he winked and got back in his car.

"Who was that?" Bella asked with exaggerated astonishment.

"Just my friend Edward" I answered and watched her reaction as her eyes followed his car speed down the road. "Don't tell me your sweet on him?"

"No of course not! I've just never seen anyone so utterly… _cool_" she breathed lightly, she definitely had a crush which was bad! Edward was good as a friend but bad at relationships, I didn't want Bella to just be another notch on his bedpost. She meant a lot to me as a friend and I couldn't let Edward victimize her.

"Anyways can we be even now? I misunderstood you and you misunderstood me, we were both in the wrong and I think we should start fresh," I told her.

"Absolutely, I never would have said any of that if I knew about your brother."

"The past is the past lets move on and be friends again."

"Of course" she smiled and leaned forward to give me a hug.

"Good, I was hoping you'd say that because I've already sent of Emmett's letter with your address on it" I laughed with my arms still around her right before the work bell rang.


	4. Chapter 4

**You know the routine now, Chapter Five tomorrow.**

* * *

I've always been fascinated by the Gold Coast. The homes themselves are spectacular, unlike anything you'll ever see. It is a very special area that, because of demographics, is not going to survive much longer.

-Nelson DeMille-

"Edward is like my brother, I've never seen him any other way," I told Royce for what seemed like the fifteenth time over dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria.

"You say that but I know how men operate, he feels something for you" Royce argued dipping his spoon into his desert of crème brulee.

He was wrong but there was no point in saying the opposite. He wouldn't listen to me.

"Well what do you suggest I do then? Its his birthday, we always go to Gold Coast for his birthday."

"You said his friend has an interest in Mary Alice right?"

"I've told you thousands of times she goes by Alice now, _just_ Alice. And yes, what's your point?"

"Bring someone for him."

"What? You mean match him up with one of my friends?"

"That's exactly what I mean. I don't like the particularly like the fellow but I don't want him the be staring at the bottom of an empty bottle in desperation because he's got no one. It will be the best way for him to get over you."

"None of my friends would suit Edward. He's too full of himself, and desolate… and fickle."

"I'm sure you'll find someone to match him up with" her cleared his throat and flagged down the waiter for our bill.

…

"Do you like Vera?" I asked Edward standing in the tearoom of his vacant house.

Every summer Dr. and Mrs. Cullen traveled down to their home on the Gold Coast in Sands Point. It was this majestic mansion right on the water and I had always loved the home as a warm weather getaway. Although as a child I was more of a tag-along because Edward and Benjamin were so close. During fall, winter, and spring Edward and I were neighbors but during the summer Edward was in Gold Coast and I stayed in East Hampton so we didn't see much of each other for those few months.

"I think she's lovely—but I also think she's very high maintenance as are you" Edward hummed as his fingers strummed the keys on the grand piano.

"What about Katie Marshall? She's pretty," I mentioned dancing my fingers along the edge of the glossy piano going right along with the music he played.

"She is but she is slightly neurotic. Why the questions?"

"Royce has this funny idea in his head that you are sweet on me and he thinks the only way I can disprove it is if I bring one of my girlfriends to Gold Coast to hold your attention" I told him.

"I am sweet on someone but it surely isn't you. Like I said your high-maintenance, I don't really do high-maintenance girls anymore… or blondes Tanya ruined that hair color."

"You do know that is slightly discriminatory?" I noted and he just shrugged.

"What are you playing?" I asked instead of questioning him about his love life at the moment.

"A little something I've been working with for a few days."

"You said you wouldn't compose anything else until you were in love again" I reminded him taking a seat on the piano bench.

"I never said that."

"Yes you did when you were 13 and you tried to serenade me by playing a homemade composition, I turned you down and you said you'd never write another song until you were in love again."

"I was a romantically influenced young boy, I didn't mean that," he laughed lightly.

"Well have you composed anything since?" I phrased the question bluntly this time around.

"I just haven't been inspired," he answered.

"Nearly 10 years without inspiration? You must be a _true_ artist," I teased and he rolled his eyes at my comment. "You're in love, so tell me who is the lucky girl?"

"No one."

"She has to be someone, you've composed a symphony for her, much better than the one I received I might add. So is she someone I know?"

"Perhaps."

"Okay, and you said you're done with high-maintence and blondes so… well I don't know anyone that fits those categories" I pouted.

"Bella does."

"Bella? _My_ Bella from the factory?"

"Do you know many other Bella's?"

"Why are you in love with her? I mean she's beautiful but you didn't even talk to her."

"You don't have to talk to someone to know you're meant to be together. Love at first sight as the Romans say."

"You're not Roman and you can't date Bella, I _forbid_ it."

"You can't forbid me from seeing someone Rosalie."

"I can when it involves Bella. I don't care if you date any of my other friends because they are disposable but Bella isn't. She's sweet and fragile and kind and she wont take to a guy like you. Your tricks won't work on her."

"I don't want to play games with Bella. I want to… I want to connect with her. Have you ever had that feeling before? Where you meet someone and from the first moment you just want to know everything about them? You could talk for hours and every word is like a novel? Do you know that feeling?"

"Yeah—yeah I do," I said thinking about Emmett and even though we only met for a short time how much I dearly missed him. I started to remember the letter I wrote him and the exact words I used to express how I felt.

"Exactly. And your marrying Royce now."

"Royce? I wasn't speaking of him," I countered him and he pondered it over for a moment.

"What happened to him then? The fellow you connected with?"

"I honestly don't know, he went to war and I haven't heard from him since."

"But you think about him everyday don't you? The unanswered _'what if?'_ kills you a little inside every time you're with Royce doesn't it?" Edward was so insightful sometimes I thought he could read my mind, it was scary but he spoke the truth.

It had been nearly a week since I mailed my letter so I wasn't expecting anything this soon but the _unanswered what if_ was buried inside me and plagued me every time I was with Royce exactly how Edward described it. At dinner, _what if_ it was Emmett sitting beside me instead of Royce? In the newspaper, _what if_ it was the McCarthy/Hale wedding announcement instead of the Kings? Our future, _what if_ it was Emmett's curly haired blue eyed little ones instead of Royce's crow-haired brown-eyed children?

"Sometimes."

"I don't want to live with that _'what if'_ hovering over me, so I am asking as a friend if you would invite Bella instead of Vera and Katie."

"I can ask her but I'm not sure if she'll say yes she's not really the Gold Coast kind of girl, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable."

"I'll make sure she doesn't, thank you Rose."

"Who am I if not a referee of love" I smirked at myself.

And that is how Bella ended up at Edward's Gold Coast mansion with us that weekend. "I've never been to the beach before" Bella admitted once we got close to the house.

"Really? You'll love it, the sands and waters are stunning" I told her. "Just don't go out too far."

"Is his house large?" she asked watching as we passed down a lane trailing Edwards car which held his handsome friend Jasper Whitlock and Alice.

"Very large. The house has been in his family for generations, probably before the Civil War."

"Who maintains it?"

"They have seasoned staff that live there and provide the upkeep. The Cullen's just come here for summer to be close to the water."

"Extravagant" she whispered. "What if they don't like me?"

"Don't worry the Cullen's have a lot but they are elitists, Mrs. Cullen is the kindest woman you will ever meet. Isn't she Royce" I turned to him and asked him for confirmation on Esme's hospitality.

"Kindest woman you'll ever meet" he repeated staring blankly ahead.

"See you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Look you can see the house over there" I pointed it out to her in the distance.

We were approaching the gates to the Cullen Kingdom in no time and were greeted by Dr. and Mrs. Cullen themselves on the front steps.

"That's Edward's mother? She's so young and beautiful" Bella whispered when Royce got out to open the door for us.

"I'd tell you she's the same age as my mother but Lillian would be too ashamed to admit that for her own appearance" I joked as she went to the trunk to receive her case. "Don't get that! Um, someone will get it for you."

"Really its alright I have two able hands" she argued pulling her case out.

"Fine" I said and pulled mine out as well. I didn't want her to feel out of place so I went along with her and carried my case. It seemed like a nice gesture to begin with but my case was nearly double Bella's in size and probably weight too.

"What are you doing? They have people here to get that" Royce grumbled looking especially agitated by my humble efforts. "Here at least let me help you."

"No I got it" I said as I struggled to pull it up the stairs.

"You'll strain yourself Rose" Royce said taking the case from my hands. I didn't need his help. I was capable of doing it on my own, sure it would have taken me a while but I am persistent I would have gotten there!

I didn't push the matter though as I saw Esme coming my way.

"Rosalie darling! Look how beautifuly you've matured, and do tell Lillian I am sorry I couldn't make your engagement party. Some last minute business came up, I hope you do understand" Esme sang with a gentle hug. Her voice was always so slow and soft like a lullaby and it always sounded like she was singing.

"Of course Mrs. Cullen, you remember Royce don't you?"

"How could I forget such a handsome face, its good to see you again."

"And this is my friend Isabella Swan she works at the munitions factory with Alice and I"

"Isabella it is so wonderful to meet you. Is this your first visit to Gold Coast?" she asked taking Bella by the arm and leading her inside.

"Yes ma'am. First time to the beach as well."

"Well Edward will have to take you out there its just lovely. I do hope you enjoy your stay here. A friend of Rosalie's is a friend of ours. Let me show your girls to your rooms."

After we had settled in that Friday afternoon we had a formal dinner with the Cullen's in their grand dining room where I wore a beautiful full gown made of pale pink crepe de chin. Since Bella didn't own a ball gown I allowed her usage of one of mine. And because she is a great deal shorter than I am it was only fitting that her heeled shoes be twice as high. At the dinner there was a birthday cake to celebrate the 22 years of Edwards life and as he blew out his candle I had a particular inkling as to what he wished for. When his gaze caught mine after the gentle smoke had cleared I knew.

The following Saturday was spent on the beach, at 9:00 we headed down and didn't come back until the wee hours of Sunday morning.

Alice tagged along as well with ignorance to the knowledge of Edward trying to match her with Mr. Whitlock. But she and Jasper had become great companions on the drive over according to Edward. Apparently Alice just talked and talked and Jasper listened intently as if hearing the words from Psalms. And today when Alice felt like reading _Gatsby_ (since we were on the beach that inspired the wonderful novel) on the beach instead of getting in the water Jasper said he'd always wanted to read that book but could never get his hands on a copy (I didn't believe that). Which was how they ended up on a blanket off the shore with Alice reading aloud in her white crochet beach gown and Jasper admiring her.

Edward and Bella on the other hand were completely immersed in the surf. Diving in and running back when it would over take them. It was adorable. Bella admitted on the drive over that she'd never been to beach before but had always longed to go and she was surely making up for the years past this morning in her blue bathing suit she bought just for the occasion.

"Look at him" I said to Royce and he lay on our beach gazebo with his hat over his eyes and the wind pushing the chiffon drapes across our chests. "I've never seen him so happy before."

"You are childhood companions, I'm sure you've seen him happy before. Like his 6th birthday when he got a red flyer" Royce mumbled from beneath his hat.

"Sure I've seen him happy before but not like this. He's in love; somehow love makes happiness even happier. It's inhibited and raw. It's the kind of happiness that kills all other, its beautiful" I said drawing my legs up to hug them as I watched Edward pull Bella out of the surf and into his arms and she just laughed until her face was flushed pink.

"_Your_ beautiful Rosalie" he replied and pulled me down to lie next to him, gazing at the sun he removed his hat and kissed me on the cheek.

I picked up my sunglasses and put them on to guard my eyes.

"Royce darling do you ever think about our future?"

"Future as in next week or future as in our wedding?"

"I mean beyond that. Where do you see us in five years?" I asked.

"Well we'll obviously be married by then, although who knows with how slow your wedding preparations are taking. I'll have taken over fathers business and have expanded it, maybe into Canada who knows—"

"Where do I fit into all of this?"

"I was getting there. You my beautiful Rose, you will be in whatever home we chose to accommodate. You'll decorate it, throw dinner parties, and raise our children—"

"What about work?"

"Your job at the munitions factory? Oh the war will be over by then and the men will come home expecting their jobs back. Besides no wife of mine will work. There is no point, we have enough so you wont have to do that kind of labor, the only labor you'll be in is in the delivery room."

"I don't work because I have to I do it because I _want_ to. It sounds like your looking for a house manager and a surrogate instead of a wife" I sat up and demanded his attention with the frustration in my voice.

"I think this heat has gone to your head darling. Take a sip of water and cool down. I want you to be nothing more than what your mother is to your father," he said softly handing me the canteen.

Of course he wanted me to be like my mother. She was perfect in every way possible. The model woman and a representation of what a society lady should aspire to be. Obviously he would expect nothing less from me so I didn't argue, I was brought up to be a lady of class after all.

I smiled sweetly and said, "Perhaps your right dear, I'm sorry I rose my voice."

"I forgive you, the sun is blazing today. When are they bringing lunch out? I'm famished."

I listened to him drone on about the new railway routes, the luxury cars they would be installing at the end of the summer, and the buyouts that would happen of the smaller railroad companies so King Railways would monopolize the market. Yes I listened to all of this but watched Edward and Bella together in envy. And in them I imagined Emmett and myself. I found myself fantasizing about him frequently and he inhabited me in some sort.

Around noon the housekeepers brought down tables, umbrellas, and lunch for us to eat while our toes were still in the sand. We spent the rest of the night lying on the beach underneath the stars talking intensely about the world around us and in Royce's case… the world beneath us. We had thoughts too deep and profound for a group of young 20-somethings but that was what was demanded of us.

Sunday morning none of us wanted to leave Gold Coast. It was beautiful looking out of my guest bedroom window and having a view of water that stretched as far as my eyes could see—or at least as far the homes across the bay. But after breakfast as I began to pack up my things I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in" I shouted and in walked Bella someone I hadn't seen much of this weekend since she was forever in the arms of Edward.

"Hi Rose I just wanted to talk to you about something" she mumbled shuffling her fingers with nervousness.

"About Edward?" I asked unpinning my now dry bathing suit from the wet rack it hung from.

"How do you know?"

"I'm a woman Bella, I can pick up on flirting."

"Is it silly of me to think that Edward might like me?" she said quietly and sat in the chair by the fireplace.

"Why would that be silly? Your beautiful Bella."

"Because I'm not you…"

"Why would you want to be me?" I don't know why she'd want to be. The thing about my life was that it only looked good from the outside or in print in a magazine. I was tormented daily by my own demons that went unconfessed.

"Your stunning, your tall, you're the envy of every girl in New York that's seen a newspaper in the last 8 months. Your Rosalie Hale… soon to be King for goodness sakes and you come from the same class as him. He's wonderful and he should be with someone more like you rather than me."

"Edward is leaving for the Army in less than two months. The military is comprised of uniformity, there is no hierarchy or elitism. Everyone wears the same uniform and carries the same weapons. Edward doesn't care about that class. He actually hates girls like me," I informed her.

"You're lying."

"Honest, he believes society is a farce and is very liberal in thinking. He only takes part in it because of Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. And if your still unsure if he takes to you I think you should know that _he_ was the one that asked me to invite you here."

"He was?"

"Yes, he's completely infatuated by you. You have absolutely nothing to worry about" I promised her and once I was finished talking someone burst through the door and slammed it shut.

I turned around to behold Alice, "Rose help, I think Jasper likes me."

"Why is everyone coming to me for advice now?" I threw up my hands.

"Because you've already gone through the trials of courtship and have come out relatively unscathed," Bella answered talking as fast as lightening and giggling at the end.

"She's right. Rosalie help me please," Alice begged.

"What's wrong with Jasper? He's handsome and kind and has an adorable southern accent."

"That's the problem, he's too perfect. He balances me, he calms me, it's the strangest thing. We sat on the beach last night and said nothing and but it was like I knew everything about him! It was so odd."

"You know what Mary Alice? I believe you're in love" I laughed pinching her cheeks and she swatted me away stubbornly.

"I am not in love. He's in love with me. He's like a little puppy that wont leave me alone." Alice could deny it all she wanted she would eventually fall prey to Jaspers charm but until that time came Bella and I had a fit laughing at her denial of his affection.

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**Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Apparently, the most difficult feat for a Cambridge male is to accept a woman not merely as a feeling, not merely as thinking, but as managing a complex, vital interweaving of both.

-Slyvia Plath-

"Rose you are coming to dinner tonight" Royce repeated in the foyer of my home and grabbed my wrist staring me intently in the eyes.

"I am not!" I shouted right back at him trying to release my arm from his grasp. "Let go of me you tyrant!"

"You are going and that is final" he growled and gripped me tighter.

At times I felt like an object (like now with the way Royce grabbed hold of me), something unattainable but desirable. I felt this way based on the way men looked at me, the way men have always looked at me.

When I walked down the street I was watched by women with envy and men with lust. I was used to this attention and was very graceful about it, avoiding boastfulness because it was unladylike but Royce adored it. He adored it so much he took me to every "business dinner" and "opera opening" just to show me off. To show other men he had me and they did not. He planned on putting on such a performance tonight.

"Is this the kind of dinner where I talk or remain silent?"

"One more word out of you and I swear—" he whispered in a low frightening voice.

"What in the world is going?" my mother rounded the corner and stood before us with her hands on her hips and Royce immediately dropped my hand.

"We were just having a quarrel," Royce answered.

"What about? I could hear you from across the house."

"Rose refuses to attend a dinner function with me" he explained.

"It is not a dinner function it's a business dinner to get contracts for the new luxury state cars" I told her knowing surely she wouldn't agree with me.

"Rosalie, you will go tonight and support your fiancée" Lillian countered.

"I have supported him for the last two weeks at five different meetings and dinners for these wretched state cars. I am tired, I've been working all day and I just want to rest."

"Royce, do you mind if I talk to my daughter for a minute?" Lillian asked sweetly patting him on the shoulder.

Royce nodded and made a quiet exit.

"Rosalie darling you were the one who decided to take on a second job. Your first and main job is to support Royce in his endeavors. That is your job as woman and as a lady. If your responsibilities are proving to be too much you'll have to quit your volunteer work at the munitions factory. Now you will go find Royce and tell him you'll attend dinner tonight, then go upstairs and rest for half an hour and I'll have your white Grecian gown pressed. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am" I muttered like a petulant child.

"Good. Go on now, tomorrow we'll meet with the wedding planner and get these arrangements started. I need your list of bridesmaids on my desk as well" she kissed my cheek.

…

He had forgotten about me, I was sure of it. It had been a month and in that time I had written 3 more letters and still there was no response. I was either forgotten or he was dead. Those were the only two options that seemed logical. So I tried to forget about him as well. I tried to think about him less and less everyday and no matter how hard I tried to busy myself he was always there subconsciously.

The lunch bell rang and I put down my work and picked up my purse to head down to the cafeteria.

"What's wrong with you darling? You look absolutely worn," Vera mentioned on our way down the stairs.

"Royce had me out all night at another one of those dinners" I told her and she understood immediately. She had been the one I had been complaining too since Alice loved such dinners and didn't understand why I did not.

"I'm sorry I know those can seem to last a lifetime especially when your forced to listen and smile."

This time I wasn't only listening and smiling I spoke sparingly and was insulted in the process.

_"What do you do darling? Model? Secretary? TWA Flight Attendant?" the guest of honor asked with a laugh and a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other._

_"I work at a munitions factory" I told the table of distinguished gentleman—I happened to be the only female amongst them—and they laughed at me openly. _

_"It's not a real job, its just silly charity to fill her days. Like volunteer work" Royce laughed along with them. _

_"It is a real job, I get a paycheck at the end of each week like any other worker" I defended myself until I felt Royce's hand pat mine underneath the table, which was a signal for me to be quiet. It was one of _those_ dinners. _

We took our sandwiches and sat at the table Angela and Alice were at. Lauren and Jessica showed up later but there was no Bella.

"Where's Bella?" I asked Angela.

"She was on the floor earlier but I think she's in the locker room she said she had to get something" Angela answered and went back to chatting.

I waited about five more minutes before Bella came in with a flushed face.

"Did you take a lap around the factory for exercise?" I joked.

"I did to get you these," she said handing me a stack of envelopes underneath the table.

My heart stopped when I read the return address and saw Emmett McCarty's name posted on the top left corner of the yellowed envelopes.

"I thought he forgot about me," I whispered.

"Take it from me, a soldier never forgets his girl."

"I wrote him so many times—"

"Army letters come in spurts but eventually they always get here. What's wrong? Isn't this what you wanted?"

"I thought I did—I mean I do, I just wonder if it's too late. We start wedding preparations tonight," I explained.

"It's never too late if this is what you really want. You can always turn around until the day you say I do, remember that you're never out of options."

…

_Darling Rosalie,_

_Your letters have brightened up my day and touched the core of my soul in ways you cannot understand. I had thought you'd forgotten about me. You'd probably seen hundreds of soldiers in and out of New York and that handkerchief I wrote on could have easily ended up in the gutter but it didn't. I have a feeling you held it close to your heart and in turn mailed it to me._

_Your words are touching but you mustn't idolize me. I'm nothing but a harebrained, "hardheaded" (according to my mother) boy. I'm awkward, you don't know this but I am quite awkward. It took all my courage to come talk to you. I was so nervous I was sweating bullets, more nervous that getting shipping to a foreign country with a gun. But I'd do it again a thousand times to see your smile. _

_This might sound juvenile but I was in one of the towns the other day and a woman had a garden—a garden full of roses and they reminded me of you. Enchanting and red. Pure and lovely. Honest and intelligent. All the parts of you that you allowed me to see when we first met. _

_I will admit I think of you quite often. I talk about you quite often as well; it helps me get through the days here and especially the nights. _

_A lot of times I think to myself "Emmett you made the most important decision of your life in a three hour conversation. Your heart was talking, not your head." So perhaps I should have waited. But I didn't want to run the risk of loosing you. In hindsight it was the best decision of my life because I never have and more than likely never will ever meet anyone like you. If I died today I would rest happily based on the three hours I was in your presence and the everlasting imprint you've had on my life._

_I want to get to know you even more. I want to know you inside, write me. Write me anything in the world. Anything at all, you write in prose—like Hemmingway or Austen so write me. I want to say you wrote for me before you wrote for the world, before your name was on bestseller lists and in the public library. _

_Your never alone Rose, think of me and I'll try to bring you solace. _

_Emmett_

That was the first letter he sent me and I had already stained the ink with my wretched tears. But I couldn't help it; it was so intoxicatingly kind that I erupted in a bucket of tears.

I read it four times over before I moved onto the next. I spent my night like that, posted in front of a fireplace with a cup of warm milk and a tearstained face reading love letters.

….

Edward's two months were up and the friend I had grown so accustomed to seeing was leaving me yet again, only this time he was leaving me to go to a foreign country instead of college. Nonetheless I supported him and the Saturday morning before he was set to leave he came to say goodbye.

We started off sitting in the library but he was jittery we decided to walk the gardens.

"Do you remember how much fun we used to have when we were younger?" he asked with hands stuffed in his army green uniform. I have to admit Edward did look quite handsome in a uniform.

"I remember how much trouble you'd get me into" I laughed reminiscing on the memories I had with Edward, Benjamin, and Alice once she was added to the group when she moved in next door at the age of 10.

"It's strange how everything changes when you get older. Relationships you took for granted suddenly become more significant" he mused.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you. You've always been like a little sister to me, even more so when Benjamin passed" I waited quietly for him to elaborate since I had no clue what he was talking about. "Before he left for Hawaii your brother made me promise to take care of you until he got back."

"He did?" I asked stunned. This was first I heard of this.

"Of course you're his little sister and he loved you more than anything in the world. I promised him I would look after you and give you all the brotherly advice I could in his absence."

"That's awfully kind of you Edward."

"Not really, I grew up an only child so I'm not really experienced on brotherly decorum and I don't think I was doing such a good job until now. I've been meaning to talk to you about your fiancée Royce."

"What about him?"

"I don't think he's suited for you. Your far too independent for him" he answered truthfully and deep down I knew I was but repeated a mantra my mother told me.

"There's no such thing as an independent lady."

"Not another one of Lillian's aphorisms" Edward shook his head. "Its 1942,! You need someone who is your equal not someone to control you."

"Wouldn't I be the perfect woman then? Easily controllable?"

"No man—no educated, modern day man wants a Barbie doll for a wife. Your worth palaces and tiaras."

"Royce can give me those things" I argued.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"But I love him" I stated.

"What do you love about him?"

"I don't know. Did I ever tell you how we met?" I asked Edward my mind slipping me as I tried to remember if I relayed the story to him, but he shook his head. "Well you know Lillian is always involving herself in my affairs but she sort of pushed us together. Daddy had left his lunch at home so she asked if I would run it down to the government building knowing the Kings would be there for their meeting. Royce said he loved me from the moment he saw me and before I even got home that day there were roses waiting for me. He sent me roses everyday until I allowed him to court me and then he looked at me harshly and said that my eyes were like violets, so I started to receive them too" I laughed lightly at the gesture I thought of as romantic back then, but I didn't receive flowers anymore. "I still love him."

"I don't believe that. You shouldn't have to force yourself to love anyone. It should just come effortlessly. I think you love the thought of him and what he can bring you but you honestly can't say you love a man like him?"

"I honestly love him," I repeated to prove a point.

"Fine. Maybe I read you wrong. You have my brotherly blessing," he said laying hands on me as if we were in church and I laughed at him.

"Where is Bella? Did you see her yet?"

Over the last few weeks Bella and Edward became so attached I rarely saw Edward and could only catch Bella at work during lunch hour. But I didn't mind. They were lost in each other and I thought it was sweet.

"I'm going to see her later, she'll come with me to the docks" he replied.

"If you don't mind me asking what are you leaving her here as?"

"My sweetheart, my girlfriend."

"Well I promise while your away I'll watch over her as a sister" I told him with a smirk mirroring his previous words.

"Would you?"

"Of course! She was my friend before you swooped in. Besides I'm thinking of asking her to be a bridesmaid, cousin Lorelei is pregnant and mothers afraid she wont lose the weight in time for the wedding."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate the offer. Thank you Rose" he expressed his gratitude once we made our way one time around the small garden. "I suppose it's time I leave. Write me often, keep me entertained with tales Lillian's antics."

"I promise to do so. Oh, Edward if you happen to run into an Emmett McCarty tell him I'm thinking of him."

Edward didn't know about my relationship with Emmett but I'm sure in the unlikely event that they ever did cross paths the message would be relayed quietly.

"Emmett McCarty? I will listen for the name. Be good Rose" he said finally and bent down to hug me.

"Stay safe Edward."

…

My correspondence with Emmett went on and somehow life continued without him. I wrote him more frequently now; I understood what letters meant to him to have some communication back home. I even sent a photograph and spritzed my letters with the French perfume I wore the night we met.

The closer I was becoming with Emmett the farther I was retreating from Royce. But the wedding plans continued like we were better than ever. Our planner helped with the flower arrangements, guest lists were prepared and bridesmaid dresses were being tailored. The only critical component missing was _my_ dress.

Mother had set up an appointment at Dior to try on designer gowns for my big day, which was set to be November 19 of 1943.

"That wont do, it makes your hips look wide," Lillian argued when I came out in a form flattering soft silk frock. "She inherited German birthing hips from her father's mother's side" I heard her laugh when I went back into the dressing room.

The store girl unbuttoned me and asked, "Which one would you like to try next?"

"It doesn't matter" I sighed and fixed my hair in the mirror.

"Aren't you excited for your wedding? The whole state is anticipating it. I have to admit I am one of the many who can't wait to read the paper after your wedding day" she said taking the couture dress I discarded on the floor and hanging it up. "It would be something like a fairytale."

"I suppose everyone is more enthralled than I am. Are you married?"

"No but I hope to be soon. I've always wanted a family of my own."

"Well I hope you find a good man then. Give me the organza."

Every dress I tried on was a no although Alice, Vera, and Bella (three of my eight bridesmaids) said I looked beautiful in everything my mother and my Aunt Daisy saw fault in every gown. That was until I put on a tulle and silk ball gown.

It was long sleeved and the top was structured in silk to the waist where it pooled out into tulle like a ballerina's tutu. The train attached to the back was covered in silk, had precise draping and carried for miles it seemed.

"Rose I've never see anything made so perfectly for you" Lillian said and dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief.

"It's couture Dior," the head attendant told us. "Christian Dior only made one dress like this due to the strict silk rationing in France. Quite an expensive gown. It's a mystery how it got out of the country with this much fabric."

"One of a kind, just like my Rose" Aunt Daisy got up and felt the fabric between her fingers.

"I have to admit it's stunning, I've never seen anything like it. How do you feel in it Rose?" Alice asked.

I looked at myself in the mirror and thought about it for a minute. _How did I feel in this dress?_ I was told I was beautiful on a daily basis, it was something I shied away from as a child and graciously accepted as an adult but I never truly felt beautiful. I've felt pretty, or nice, lovely even but not beautiful.

It's such a big word to bask in. Such expectations are required of one to be beautiful. Shirley Temple is beautiful. Ginger Rogers is beautiful. Joan Crawford and Vivian Leigh are beautiful. They have internationally recognized faces of beauty and I was just Rosalie Hale of New York City same as any girl. In this dress though I felt beautiful. I felt like Shirley or Ginger or Joan or Vivian and I loved it.

But for the first time as I took in my figure in the mirror I saw myself as a bride, I saw myself as a wife, I saw myself as a mother. My future was attached to this dress. It would encompass the beginning of my life and transition me from a young lady to a woman. It terrified me.

There was a fear that wrecked my mind and shook my body. A fear of commitment, adulthood, and life itself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Soooo…. No updates this past weekend because I was out of town without my computer and to be honest I forgot. Oops! But… on the bright side you have four more chapters to look forward to this week.**

**This chapter is where all hell breaks loose, ENJOY!**

* * *

Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own.

-Mother Teresa-

_September 23, 1942_

_My dearest Rapunzel,_

_I'm starving. Literally. The rations are horrible and the bread tastes like cardboard. Have you ever tasted cardboard before? Stale cardboard? It's rancid. _

_Besides the food they are treating me pretty well here. I could use socks if you want to mail me some I'd appreciate it. But besides that I am swell. So you can tell my mother to stop her worrying I am perfectly fine, in no danger at all. But I've only been here a few weeks. Things can change at any moment and they keep reminding us that. I wish they didn't. Right now it is like a government issued vacation with limited toilets and bedside service. _

_I've been nicknamed "Keys". I'm in Germany if you don't know. Far from the Nazi's but close enough that if they need backup we're here and ready to fight. Anyways there was an abandoned piano in the streets of one of the neighboring extinguished Jewish communities and a couple of comrades pushed it all the way to camp. It was in good condition considering it had been outdoors for a while and when the General asked "Who can play this thing?" no one answered. You see our General is not a very kind man, so we all looked at our boots and he walked up and down the ranks staring at us and he stopped at me and shouted (very loudly though I was literally a nose hair away from his face) "Harvard Boy (that was my nickname before Keys) you must have learned something about music in college. Play the damn thing." I couldn't say no so I sat down on a milk crate and played "Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar". I have been Keys since then and the General has taken a particular liking to me._

_Jasper just passed and said to tell you hello. I have no respect for him as a major after seeing how he gushed over Alice. I think those two will be a match; he's really not a bad fellow. Alice is just skeptical. I didn't get to see her when I was home but how is Cynthia doing? Better I hope, will she be coming home soon? When I write her she never mentions coming home. _

_Are you well Rose? Your last letter seemed distant. You shouldn't worry so much (you'll get premature wrinkles). _

_I hope this letter made you smile if only a little bit, you have such a pretty smile you know?_

_Send my regards and love to your parents, Mary Alice, Vera, and Bella. _

_Forever Yours,_

_Prince Charming_

_P.S. I haven't found your Emmett McCarty yet. Some might think I'm mental because when I go to the tables for supper I just shout out his name and hope someone will turn around… but no one ever does. _

_P.S.S. If I don't get to reach you before October just knowing I am wishing you a Happy Birthday from Germany. _

Edwards letter indeed made me smile, he was so goofy. I pulled out my monogrammed stationary to write him back promptly, perhaps I could get it out before the mailman came. I still had to mail a letter I had written to Emmett a few days ago.

"Ms. Rose you have a guest" the housekeeper notified me from the doorway. "Mr. Royce King."

"Let him in" I sighed licking the envelope and writing Edwards return address on the front.

Moments later Royce came into my room carrying a gift box and a peculiar grin.

"Open it" he held out a black box that was inscribed from Tiffany's, the same extravagant jeweler he went to for my engagement ring.

"What is this? My birthday isn't for three more weeks."

"I know but I was just hoping you'd wear this tonight. I got tickets to the ballet, I know how much you love it."

"Which ballet? I asked with a skeptical grin.

"The Bolshoi is in New York only one night to perform some Balanchine piece" he tossed his hands around carelessly as if it were no big deal.

"_Some_ Balanchine piece?" I laughed.

"Go ahead and open it," he urged offering me the box again.

I pulled it open and withdrew a string of pearls nearly as long as my entire body with a diamond clasp, it was stunning. Much too stunning to put on my dainty neck.

"This is for me?" I asked admiring it. I always had a particular taste for beautiful and shiny things. "Are you sure it isn't meant for the queen?"

"No surely the queen wouldn't have use for this little bauble" he joked. "Will you wear it tonight?"

"Of course!" I thanked him throwing my arms around him. "Now I just need to find a dress worthy this necklace," I said mentally running through the gowns in my closet and remembering I was having a gown tailored at a store in the city. Today would be the perfect day to go to the city and stop at the post office.

"I don't know how to thank you," I whispered touching the cool beautiful stones.

"I know one way you can thank me" he smirked pulling me close into his grasp and I rolled my eyes in an unladylike manner.

"I told you I want to wait until were married, I want it to be special" I reminded him for the hundredth time, it was like we had the same conversation over and over again.

"Am I not special? I am your fiancée, how much more special do you want this to be?" he asked kissing my forehead.

"We could be in a glamorous hotel in France with a gold headboard behind us and the Eiffel Tower outside our window instead of my childhood bedroom filled with lace and frills."

"If you say so."

"Actually I think I know exactly what I am going to wear. Will you drive me to the city?" I asked grabbing my purse from my bed.

"Sure" he replied as I picked up my letter to Edward and went into the little side drawer where I kept my letters to Emmett. "What is that there?" Royce asked leaning over my shoulder.

"Nothing just letters Edward" I quickly answered slamming the drawer shut.

"Does he have nothing but free time to write you letter?" Royce laughed. "If he wasn't so smitten on Bella I'd think you two are lovers."

"Your silly, lets go honey" I smiled moving him away from the drawer.

"Go get your sweater first, its chilly out and I don't want you to catch cold."

…

The ballet was wonderful. It made me wish I could have continued dancing. The weather was beautiful and the sky was clear and full of stars. The night in general was wonderful.

Royce and I stood on the steps of my house after the night had ended saying goodbye. "Thank you again for the necklace, and the ballet. I really enjoyed myself."

"Your welcome. Do you mind if I come in for a drink?" he asked.

"Sure, we can go into daddy's office" I unlocked the front door and lead the way. "What would you like? We have an assortment of brown drinks," I laughed examining the bottles until I heard the double doors shut. "What are you doing?"

"Sit."

"What?"

"Sit."

"What is this all about?" I asked flustered trying to plant my bottom in a seat before he blew up. I ended up at daddy's desk waiting patiently for him to respond.

"These" out of his breast pocket he withdrew a stack of torn envelops. "Explain these."

I just stared at them and gulped quietly trying to avoid his piercing penetrating stare. "You went through my things?"

"You lied. Letters from Edward? Who the hell is soldier you're engaged to?"

"It—Its"

How could I explain this without making it sound like emotional infidelity? Every excuse I came up with sounded worse and worse.

"Rosalie, talk to me! I swear to god I'll call off this wedding" he shouted throwing the letters in my direction but having them all end up on the floor surrounding me.

"It's not what you think!"

"Not what I think? How stupid do you think I am? Those letters were written as clear as day! They are the letters of a lover!"

"He's just a friend Royce. I met him and he was lonely and scared and he asked me to marry him and I said yes because the world is in shambles! I felt for him, I was drunk and sad" I explained and started to cry because it was only half the truth. Sure I felt bad for him but that wasn't the only reason I said yes but if I told him anything different… I was afraid of what he would do to me.

"Rosalie Hale none of this is making sense! You were engaged to me before this correspondence started. You've been unfaithful to me!" he spat and paced over to the other side of the room.

"I wasn't unfaithful, nothing happened. I did this as a civic duty; he was all-alone and was being shipped overseas. I couldn't let him go without knowing someone cared for him" I tried to explain again and reach out to Royce but he shrugged me off.

"You. Sit" he growled shoving forcefully back into the chair. He pushed me so hard it knocked the wind out of me and I found myself gasping for my breath and crying at the same time.

He was suddenly hovering over me with both hands on either arm of the chair locking me in and preventing me from moving. As I tried to regain my breath he stared me down, his nearly black eyes pierced mine as if searching for the truth so I looked away. I couldn't look him in the eye and lie to him.

He grabbed my right hand and put a pen in it. He pulled out one of the pages from my dads stationary and placed it in front of me.

"Write."

"Please Royce, I'm sorry—" I cried in hiccups still trying to catch my breath.

"Make a decision now. Me or the dead man" I winced at his phrasing, _dead man._

I didn't answer I only cried harder staining my dress, watering my pearls, and loosing my breath.

He took my silence as a decision to choose him.

"Private McCarty" he began. "Our correspondence has to end. I am engaged to be married, I was engaged when we met and I have been stringing you along due to rebellion—ignorant, childlike rebellion. My fiancée is the only man I ever have and ever will love. Those letters I wrote you were nothing more than sentimental words to a soldier who will be in a box come 3 months time—"

"I—I—I" I stuttered as I shakily wrote the hateful words on the page too disgusted to even look at it. "I cant-I cant write that, it'll kill him."

"Good. I don't want him coming back with any notions of romance."

"Please your breaking _my_ heart."

"Even better. Continue" he placed my hand back on the paper. "Our engagement was negligence on my part because I thought it to be my civic duty as an American woman to give a soldier false fantasies. I will not apologize for my actions but thank you for making me realize how much I truly love my fiancée. Our communication is now severed; do not contact me for I will not reply. Rose."

I wrote the words only because he said so, nothing was true but I was praying my handwriting couldn't be read between the scribbles and tearstains.

Royce snatched the letter from my hands, stuffed it in an envelope and had me write Emmett's information without Bella's return address. The envelope then went into his breast pocket.

"Don't mail that please, I'm begging you. It's evil and cold. Tell me the letter was for your own satisfaction. It will literally kill him if he read it, he'll have nothing to live for. Save his life, please," I sobbed grasping his sleeve trying desperately to get him to understand but he didn't understand he took his drink and walked out the door leaving me with more questions than answers.

…

I hadn't seen Royce since the incident; it was two weeks ago and as awful as I felt I couldn't bring myself to sincerely apologize because I wasn't sorry. The closer I got to Emmett the more I realized I had deep feelings for him, perhaps love even.

On the other side Royce offered a sense of security I had grown up with and couldn't live without. I was torn in the middle between my desire and my upbringing.

To get my mind off the chaos surrounding my intimate affairs I threw myself into my work and knitted socks furiously in my free time for Edward. Time passed as usual and everyday I wondered if Emmett received that awful letter Royce made me write. But nothing. I continued to get letters from him via Bella as if nothing had changed.

I also continued to write Edward and as his first letter referenced Alice's little sister Cynthia and her wellbeing, I decided to stop by the hospital and visit her. The hospital she was staying in was located upstate and was quite a drive but I traveled alone by chauffer. I brought her flowers and the peanut butter bars she used to love as a child.

Alice's sister Cynthia was placed in an asylum when she was young and claimed she could see the future. Her parents didn't think anything of it saying it was just a child's wild imaginings but it wasn't until her "predictions" actually came true that they were frightened. It began when she was very young about four when she would say Mary Alice would get a bad grade on her arithmetic test or the neighbor boy would bring her flowers. She called my father's first election loss and other political elections. The final straw was when she said that their father would lose his job and the next Monday he was laid off. When she was 9 her parents sent her to the Greystone Park mental asylum and told everyone in society she was at a ballet boarding school in Sweden.

Cynthia was harmless though and sending her away was really unnecessary since she never harmed anyone, but I suppose it would look bad for a family of Alice's stature to have a child that had "unnatural abilities." Edward had taken a particular liking to Cynthia because like him they were both gifted by piano. He visited and wrote her frequently as did I. I tried to keep my correspondence with her because I know she must be lonely in there. Her parents only visit twice a year on her birthday and Christmas but Alice caught the train and came every two weeks.

Being in an asylum when you don't belong must be heartbreaking and for a girl so young, she'll never have a normal life if she leaves.

Upon entrance to Greystone Park you wouldn't expect it to be an asylum. From the outside it looked like an elite boarding school or a royal library. And upon entrance there was a grand foyer and two circling, cascading staircases to greet you. But beyond the beautiful entrance the building held a creepy vibe. There was something unsettling about being here. Every time I came it nearly made me sick to my stomach wondering what horrors happened here to the children that were worse than Cynthia.

That Saturday afternoon I found Cynthia in the greeting room in a blue dress I passed down to her a few months ago. She was more my size than Alice's so I acted as big sister in the wardrobe department and gave her things I had no more use for.

"Rose!" she jumped from her seat and hugged me "When they said I'd have a visitor I didn't expect you, I thought maybe Grandma. But it's swell to see you."

Cynthia was a beautiful girl, much like Alice she carried soft features but instead was tall and lanky. Her hair was dark like Alice's but being in an asylum she didn't keep up with the latest fashion and had hair so long it passed her waist and was braided and ribboned down her back.

"These are so beautiful," she said admiring the flowers. "And you brought candies! I'll have to hide these" she grinned stuffing them in the pocket of her dress.

Cynthia spoke about how she was doing. She said that during the day she was okay, she could control her visions but at night she couldn't. Her subconscious took over and controlled her to the point where everything she had pent up had to come out. She slept horribly if she slept at all.

But Cynthia was the type to view life as a glass half full and said she was treated well here, she said that because of the nurses shortage in the asylum because of the war during the day she was allowed to "play nurse" and bring some of the worse patients their breakfast and lunch and care for them. She liked it, she said once she got to leave she was going to go to a real school and learn to become a nurse, but not an asylum nurse, a medical nurse.

I thought it was wonderful that Cynthia had aspirations for a future and prayed she would reach them soon enough.

"I saw your picture in the newspaper, it was beautiful, like just out of a movie or magazine" she smiled and grasped my hand gingerly.

"Thank you, I'm still stunned at how well you've matured."

"I'm nothing compared to you. Your fiancé is quite handsome though" she smirked.

"Yes, I suppose he is."

"It's a shame you won't marry him" she claimed and shook her head.

"What? Are you having a premonition?" I asked trying to make eye contact with her but she kept looking down.

"I've already had one and I know you don't love him."

"Surely I do" I lied to her and myself.

"No you don't, your heart belongs to that soldier. I don't know his name but he is tall with curly brown hair and broad shoulders and dimples. He looks like a teddy bear and is as kind as one. Your heart belongs to him. You write him secretly, yes secretly your engaged to him but in real life your engaged to the handsome rich man. You think you love both but you only love one, the soldier. Is this true?"

There was no need in lying. No matter how much people claimed Cynthia was insane she wasn't. She knew what she was talking about and somehow she could see the future, I don't know how she did it but somehow she always spoke the truth.

So I just nodded my head.

"What should I do?" I asked as if speaking to a divinity.

"I don't know! I'm only 14 I know nothing of love. This might sound juvenile but I believe you should listen to your heart. I hear it and it longs for this soldier, for his safety, for his affection. When I see your outcome I don't see the rich man. He drinks too much and is possessive. I don't want him to hurt you Rose."

"Why would he hurt me if I choose not to marry him?" I asked thinking of the possibilities that had already run through my head but now were being confirmed by my psychic friend.

"Because he doesn't want to lose you. You're like a possession to him, a trophy to put on his mantle. You solidify his power. Once he has you he'll own the world. I see all of this if you continue your path."

"Cynthia Brandon!" the orderly shouted snatching her arm from its attachment to mine. She held Cynthia so tightly her arm turned red immediately. "Just when I thought you were cured. Stop with these imaginings. Have you taken your medication? I told you as long as these imaginings continue your help with the patients will no longer be needed."

"I'm sorry Nurse Lowe—"

"It's not her fault I—I asked her, please let her go" I replied snatching her back and holding her near me wrapping one arm around her shoulders and rubbing her freshly bruised arm with the other. I felt like it was my duty to protect her as a mother since it was her mother who institutionalized her and didn't even care to visit.

"Your just as bad as she is then! How is she ever to leave here if she has people like you encouraging this nonsense!" Nurse Lowe shouted.

"I apologize it wont happen again, I can assure you. Please do not take her from her duties," I begged of her.

"I'll have to think it over. As for you little miss, you rush up those stairs and take your medications" Nurse Lowe demanded and stomped away.

"You better leave now, I don't want them to remember you and not let you visit anymore" Cynthia sniffed.

"Did she hurt you?" I asked her searching for the truth and examining her sore arm.

"No, nothing worse than being laid over daddy's knee for a paddling. But please go, I want you to visit again."

"Okay, I'll write you and visit again as soon as I can," I promised her with a hug.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Joey Vitelli: I did neglect some fact checking in that department… like I said the jist of this story was influenced by the ****dock-series Bomb Girls which takes place in Canada (who declared war on Germany in 1939) I totally didn't think about how the characters were in America versus Canada which is my fault for not realizing that. I apologize and I hope it doesn't change anyones perception of this story. **

**With that said, enjoy this chapter!**

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You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was just good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her. Because you don't destroy people you love.

-Grey's Anatomy-

_Dearest Rosalie, _

_If what you wrote was true then I will let you go. Just know I have cherished every letter you wrote and every photograph you have sent. I will keep them as reminder of what I thought was love. _

_Knowing I will never see your smile again or your beautiful yellow curls is enough to break me. You are still wonderful in every way and I regret not meeting you sooner so my ring could be the one on your finger._

_I told a friend what happened to us and he replied "If the girl had been worth having she'd have waited for you" and immediately I thought of a book I'd read while here and quoted "No sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody."_

_As long as you are happy I can see no wrong in this. But please continue to write, your correspondence keeps me warm in the cold. Grace me with your pen and scribble away words of frivolous meaning to enchant me. A standing request you in no way are obligated to oblige. _

_Forever your friend, _

_Emmett McCarty_

...

I knocked lightly on the door of my father's office and waited for his gruff hello. Once I received it I walked inside with my head hung low to tell him that I couldn't marry Royce, not after what he did to me. I couldn't believe he sent the letter. I thought he was just using it as a means of self satisfaction, to scare me. But he sent it and it broke my heart that Emmett had to find out this way. I couldn't forgive him. I could not forgive such evilness.

"Yes princess?" he greeted and urged me to close the door.

"Daddy—I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it?" he asked looking at me intently. He got up from his desk and sat down next to me on one of the couches.

"I can't marry Royce" I said but the infliction in my voice was wavering and came across as weak I know.

"I understand, cold feet darling? Don't worry your mother went through the same—"

"No, you don't understand. I don't want to marry Royce, I don't love him."

But dad scoffed and poured a drink. "Love is a matter of fairytales, goodness Rosalie I thought you'd have grown up now. Marriage isn't about love it's a contract between families for assets and growth. You are fond of Royce am I right?"

I didn't answer, I _was_ fond of Royce. In a previous life I was fond of him but now I loathed him.

"You will learn to love him."

"I won't marry him, you cannot make me" I said firmly this time.

"I cannot make you?" he laughed again. "I can make you do anything I want. I created you. If I say you will marry Royce, you will marry Royce."

"No I wont" I said again. I had never openly defied my parents like this and my dad didn't seem to like it very much as I watched his brow twitch with anger. "The engagement is off and that is final."

…

_Darling Emmett,_

_ Do not worry about the war. _

_Do not worry about tomorrow._

_Do not worry about the days beyond tomorrow._

_Do not worry about the past. _

_Do not worry about food._

_Do not worry about money. _

_Do not worry about regret._

_Do not worry about love._

_Do not worry about my happiness._

_Do not worry about me. _

_Live and be loved because I love you. _

_The last letter you received were not my words but Royce's. He forced my hand to break your heart and I wrote them out of fear for my life, my welfare, and my future. Nothing you read was true, nothing you read was from me._

_His actions made me realize I no longer could be with him. If he was willing to hurt me by hurting you there would be a multitude of ways he could hurt me in the future. _

_But I am not faultless, the role I played in this situation is reprehensible. I should have told you that I was otherwise engaged but the night we met I couldn't will myself to do so. I felt for you that night and I would have said anything, promised anything to ensure that I wouldn't lose you. The attention you've garnered me got me through a difficult time in my life as I searched for my identity. You believed in me and trusted me and I let you down. _

_All in all Royce and I are no longer attached. Our former engagement is forgotten and I hope that you can forgive me. I cannot ask you to love me as you once did because I know your trust in me has diminished since you read that letter. But I do ask you to not forget me. _

_I love you again and again, forever and tomorrow so do not worry about my affection because it is here as it always has been waiting on you to return to me if you can find it in your heart to do so. _

_Forever your affectionate, _

_ Rosalie_

…

"Goodbye girls!" I waved to my friends and coworkers on Monday afternoon. It was dusk now and the sun was setting as the streetlamps of New York flickered on one by one. Today was a good day, it had been a few days since I told my father that I wasn't marrying Royce and he had relayed the information to my mother. She in turn refused to acknowledge me because I was a shame to the family in her eyes. I knew she would forgive me… eventually.

But dad had turned a new leaf. He sat me down and honestly asked me why I didn't want to go through with the wedding and cared about my feelings in doing so. I believe it was because he felt bad for pushing me away like he did to Ben two years ago. He had already lost one child and he couldn't afford to lose another. So I told him everything. I told him about Emmett and how we met and how he cherished me in ways Royce never did and how much I genuinely love him. I told him how butterflies bubbled in my stomach whenever I got a letter from him and how I cried at night when I thought of all the hell he had to go through by fighting. I told him the truth about how I had kept all this from Royce, how he found out and how he forced me to write an awful letter banishing Emmett from my life. I told him how Emmett wrote back and how he still wanted my companionship even without my affection.

Then daddy said something I was never expecting him to say.

He said, "If you truly love him, you'll wait on him."

It was a contradiction to what Emmett had quoted in his last letter but I believed it wholeheartedly.

And wait was what I intended to do. I had thrown myself into my friendships and into work to keep my mind busy as I waited for Emmett to return.

As I left the gates of the American Munitions factory I saw a Rolls Royce, Royce's Rolls Royce specifically parked out front. I didn't walk towards it but continued my trek towards the main street far down the road to catch a cab. Seconds afterwards I could hear the sound of tires behind me on the gravel. But I didn't turn around. The car pulled up beside me now and was driving as slow as I was walked. The passengers window was rolled down and Royce stuck his head out saying "Come on Rose, get in."

"No" I said stubbornly.

"Your not walking all the way home then are you?"

"Would it matter to you if I did?"

"Let me at least give you a ride home."

"I don't need a ride. I am not talking to you."

"Would it mean anything if I said I'm sorry about the soldier?"

"You're right. It would mean absolutely nothing" I marched on.

"I am sorry though" he shouted. "Really I am, please get in, I don't want you to catch cold."

I don't know what made me believe him that final time but even greater than that I don't know what compelled me to open the door and slide in. Maybe it was because my feet were killing me and my new shoes pinched my heels. Regardless I was inside and once I was Royce floored the gas pedal flying down the crowded streets when we reached the city limits.

I took in his appearance and disheveled was the first word to come to mind. His hair was askew, his usually fresh shaven face covered with stubble and his suit was lined with dirt and with the fabric torn. His eyes shuffled franticly across my face.

"You think you can break off our engagement and not even face me?" he asked furiously, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel.

"Royce slow down your going to wreck the car. We can talk about this once you've pulled over" I said holding onto the dash and grounding my feet.

"You don't get to tell me what to do. I love you Rose, don't you know that? Everything I did I did for you! And now your just going to leave me for some nobody?" he was shouting again and as he spoke I could smell the liquor on his breath. I also took note of the empty glass bottles by my feet that clanked and clattered against each other as he swerved and turned the car like a madman.

"I—I—" I didn't know what to say anymore. I couldn't lie to him but at the same time he was being unreasonable, he was drunk and he was driving madly. There was no right response to control him.

He took my hand in his and held onto it tightly his clammy hand grasping mine so hard I was afraid my hand would crumble into pieces if he ever released it. He raised the back of my hand to his lips and peppered cold alcoholic kisses all over it. With one hand attached to mine and other in his pocket now the car continued to drive hands free as he retrieved a ring from his breast pocket.

"A bigger one for you my darling" he said and placed the a new ring on my wedding finger. "Will this make you happy?" he looked at me earnestly and I really wished he would keep his eyes on the road. The speed he was driving at was nearly lethal.

"I—I—" again there was no answer for this. A bigger ring wouldn't make me happy but a different man would. How do I explain that to him without coming across lewd?

"I love you Rosalie."

"Stop it!" I shouted with tears streaming down my face now. "Stop saying you love me when you don't!"

He wanted to control me, not love me. He didn't know what love was. He could never love a woman like me, I don't think he could even love himself.

"Tell me you love me again" he kissed my hand once more.

"I can't speak words that aren't true—"

"Then tell me you never loved me."

"Your asking too much of me!" I cried. "I can't say that either. At one point I did love you but I don't anymore. Can't you see that?"

"I will take care of you, I will love you and you will never have to struggle. This is the life you could have with me, with your soldier you can't. I know sometimes you get lost but I will be here to find you" he muttered into my hand kissing it again with more fever and fire than before.

"It's not about what you can provide me, it's about how I feel when I am with you. I feel useless, I cannot succumb to a man who makes me feel that way" I shook my head and watched as the city flew behind us in an attempt to escape the Rolls Royce that was flying towards death.

"Fine" he threw down my hand and I clutched it and let the pain of my sore knuckles and ligaments pulsate through my body.

"If you don't want to be with me on earth you'll remain with me in another life" he threatened and I automatically withdrew from him as I the dim light of the streetlamp flashed over a silver revolver tucked in the waistband of his trousers.

I couldn't breath as I pieced this together. I couldn't breath. I couldn't—the headlights of a car coming towards us were blinding as I tried desperately to recapture a sense of hope that rarely prevailed me with my overwhelming, irrational worry. I always said that worry kills but I didn't want to die this way, with the worries of the world, of my life hanging over my body like death. But the headlights kept coming towards us like they were summoning us to follow them and Royce listened. He was blinded by the light but kept on towards it, marching into the bright darkness and taking me with him.

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	8. Chapter 8

When you are happy you can forgive a great deal.

-Princess Diana-

The headlights? Were they a dream? They were so bright and fierce, unrelenting, blinding.

I woke suddenly, grasping for air fighting for it as I sank deeper into the light that burned so bright and hot. Sweat drenched my body and my braided hair was glued to my face, neck, and back. My nightgown was damp and the sheets that covered my body were strangling me in an odd contortion. I blinked and opened my eyes carefully mindful of the blinding light that had seized me just moments before and realized there were no lights. There was only a glimmer of candlelight by my fireplace where three figures sat.

I was in my bedroom. My pink childhood bedroom that had again brought on a slew of childish terrors. As I sat up I took in the cool room and saw my friends sitting in the chaise chairs in the corner of the room. Bella was the first to take me in and ran to my bedside when she saw I was awake.

"Rose are you alright, do you need anything? Anything at all?" she asked crouching by my bedside.

"Water please" I said in a hoarse voice.

Bella grabbed the glass of water on my nightstand and handed it to me and watched as I gulped it down and let the warm water run down the back of my throat.

Alice and Vera were sitting on the edge of my bed as well.

"What day is it?" I asked after I had drunk all my water.

"Wednesday morning" Vera answered.

"I've been asleep for two days?" I gasped. "I've got to get back to work" I said suddenly trying to get out of bed but then stopping as I experienced a sudden spinning sensation.

"Calm down honey, you needed the rest. You _still_ need to rest, your body has been through a lot" Alice said rubbing my hand but I winced at her featherlike touch and looked down at my hand and took in the black and blue bruises that were scattered across my ivory skin. The shine from the diamond ring on my wedding finger caught my eye and I touched the cool stones.

"What happened?" I asked no one in particular but wanting an answer regardless.

"You were in a car collision" Vera answered.

"With Royce?" I asked and she nodded. "I feel kind of sore but nothing too bad, it must not have been too awful."

"Honey—" Alice began but stopped herself and looked to Bella who nodded and told her to continue. "Royce is dead."

When she said the words I heard them as I would hear anything but they didn't register for quite a while. Dead? As in nonliving? Never to return again, dead?

"It's a miracle that you survived. They tried to save him at the hospital but he was practically gone once the collision happened."

"Oh" I murmured so they would know I was listening.

The girls kept looking at one another as if they were talking with just there eyes. Seeing as I had been asleep two days my perception wasn't as on point as it usually is and I missed this silent conversation. But after a few minutes of stillness had passed and Royce's death had registered in my brain as a fact of life I looked at my friends with quiet interest. They were hiding something from me.

"Your not telling me something" I noted aloud.

"She has to know" Bella whispered.

"No she doesn't. She's alive, that's all that matters" Alice argued.

"I agree with Alice, it's unnecessary information" Vera matched Alice.

"You can tell me whatever it is—" I tried to say.

"We've just told her that her fiancée is dead do you think we should unnerve her anymore—" Vera added.

"He is no longer my fiancée. But please tell whatever information you withhold."

They all looked at each other and decided Bella was the one that should tell whatever it was they thought I shouldn't know.

"Royce had left a note the day before at his home, it was a suicide note. He couldn't live without you… but he didn't want you to live without him. When the policemen got to the accident they took a revolver off him and there were only two bullets."

Two bullets. I let that information sink in and remembered Royce's final words about being with him in another life. I remembered seeing the shine of that revolver before I blacked out. He was going to kill me.

I began to cry.

"See you shouldn't have told her" Alice hissed. "It was too soon"

They began to argue again but didn't listen. I rested my head and let my tears soak my pillow as Vera rubbed my back.

How could someone who claimed they love you hurt you like Royce hurt me? Two nights ago he said he loved me. He said he would take care of me and cherish me. If I would have married Royce who knows what he would have done to me? To our children. I was crying because my future was saved not just my life.

…

_My Sweet Rose,_

_ I am not well with words you know. But Fitzgerald is, he's mirrored my feelings exactly and I can only share these delicate words with you because I cannot say them myself. _

_"I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. _

_I love her and that is the beginning of everything."_

_-F. Scott Fitzgerald-_

_I forgive you._

_Forever yours,_

_Emmett McCarty_

…

I looked in the mirror as I fiddled with my hair. When I saw my reflection I took note of the physical changes I had endured like the cuts and scrapes and bruises that marred my body and were masked by bandages. My bones were a little more prominent now, my fingers and décolleté more frail than before. But in my seemingly weak physical condition I felt strong—tired but strong nonetheless.

The doctor commanded I stay in bed and rest but I think he was implying for me to rest my soul and my heart more than my body.

Royce's death saddened me only because young lives should never be lost. The last person I knew to pass was Benjamin and he still held a lock on my heart like no other. But Royce no longer controlled me. I felt free from an unbearable evil.

But I did forgive him eventually. I was happy now and I found it much more difficult to hold onto anger and resentment when I couldn't wipe the small smile that spread across my lips.

…

_Rosalie my darling, _

_Your last note has startled me, unnerved me, and had me fearful for you life. I can only think of hatred towards your former fiancé for what he did but I embrace your survival. Your endurance is admirable and has made me fall for you even more than I already have. _

_I accept your apology and though I am hurt by your actions I understand your reasoning. You were taking a gamble by devoting yourself to me, I understand that. Your still taking a gamble on me by putting your wellbeing and heart in the arms of a lonely soldier. I do not think ill of you, I never could. You are perfect, you are beautiful, and you are everything I could ever want. _

_As soon as I return I promise to forever devote myself to you. I know your scared about the life you would have with me but I promise you that no matter where we live, how much money we have, or if we have any children at all our love with provide us shelter, nourishment, fortune, and family. _

_Stay safe until I return. _

_All my love,_

_Emmett _

...

There is nothing more beautiful than a girl in love. After the scars, scabs, and bruises had healed there was something glowing about me and everyone noticed it.

I am in love and for the moment there was nothing no one could do to shake my happiness. I wrote Emmett nearly every day. I sent him little trinkets of affection and even socks (per Edwards request). I had survived the winter with a smile as if it was spring time. The war was still going on right outside my window but inside my heart there was nothing but joy and love.

My mother had eventually succumbed to the fact that Royce was gone—without the knowledge of his plan of double suicide—she tried to match me with other eligible bachelors in town but my father thwarted her efforts assuring her I was happy with my soldier. Daddy was probably more excited to see Emmett than I was. He couldn't wait to meet the one man that has captured my heart. Mother on the other hand was wary of such love saying a young woman should never let on how much she cares for a man.

But I dismissed her and her ideas about propriety, they were ancient! It was 1943 as Emmett would say, "times are changing."

I continued my work at the factory and after begging daddy I was finally allowed to work on the floor with the rest of the girls actually building the bombs. Of course I had to take a test on sciences and things of that nature but I passed and I was as some might value "demoted" to the floor where I stood between Ang and Bella pouring chemicals into valves to ship to our boys overseas. On the first bomb I made I planted a cherry red kiss on it sending my love to whomever received this weapon.

Alice and Vera tried to follow me down to the floor but they couldn't pass the test so Mrs. Cope advised it best that they stay in the office. But Alice had caught the love bug as well and her sweetheart Major Whitlock held her thoughts like nothing I'd ever seen from her. Vera on the other hand had recently fallen for her childhood sweetie, a local carpenter and before he was shipped off they got married quickly in a small chapel where Alice and I served as bridesmaids. She has to conceal her marriage because married women aren't able to work so she never wears her ring in public but Alice and I know it's there.

As I sat down to write Emmett at the end of January 1943 my housekeeper disrupted me to inform me I had a telephone call.

"From whom?" I asked not looking up from my letter figuring it to be Alice or Vera calling to prattle about a new dress of some sort.

"She says her name is a Mrs. McCarty. Never rang before but she says its urgent."

I immediately sprinted to the telephone at the end of the hall. I had never met Mrs. McCarty or even written her but it obviously had to be something of dire purpose for her to contact me.

"Rosalie Hale" I greeted and took in the sniffles and hiccups from the other end of the phone line.

My heart clenched and I waited for her response thinking only the worst thoughts, my pessimism taking hold of my diminishing hope.

"I'm sorry—I'm sorry, this is Emmett's mother, Emmett McCarty. I do have the right Hale residence don't I?" she asked.

"Yes you do, I am aware of Emmett. What is wrong?"

She began to cry again. "He's been hurt."

"He's been hurt?" I repeated as a question. "How badly? When? What happened?"

I tried to steady myself by leaning on the end table but I was suddenly lightheaded as my one and only love drifted farther away from me.

"I don't know much... They—they just telegrammed me saying he was hurt and that he was being sent back" it was hard to make out what she was saying because she gasped so hard between each word. "Something about a head accident, I don't know."

"Where are they sending him?" I asked trying to be brave for once in my life. I was such a child, my tears always controlled me and my emotions ruled my judgment but I had to grow up sometime and I tried to fight back those wretched tears. I tried so hard...

My mother came up the stairs at that moment but I couldn't look at her.

"They are sending him here to Gatlinburg I believe."

I bit my lip as I tried to think of a way that I could ask a request of this woman I had never met in a ladylike manner.

"Mrs. McCarty, I know you do not know me well—at all really for that matter. But I would really like to be there by his side once he comes home" I began to say leading up to my request.

"Oh course darling, he speaks so fondly of you in his letters I would be honored to have you here. Just let me know whenever you come so I can retrieve you from the train station" Mrs. McCarty offered and I sighed of relief that she would extend this welcome to me.

"Thank you Mrs. McCarty, you really don't know how much this means to me."

"I think I might have a hunch" she hinted and said her goodbyes.

I put the phone on the receiver and tried to compose myself. I couldn't be a girl anymore, no, but as I turned to head back to my bedroom I saw my mother standing in the hallway and I broke down. I ran to her and collapsed in her arms frightened that my love would no longer be able to love me from this earth.

And she held onto me. She didn't say anything at all knowing I didn't need soothing words or empty encouragements. What I needed was a mother to just hold me and mend my broken heart silently with her warm embrace and maternal touch.

I was too old and far too big to be cuddled underneath my mothers chest but her body provided a familiarity and comfort that I couldn't explain. Although we'd had our differences as mother and daughter often do, it didn't change her love. I believe that afternoon of crying and comfort my mother and I found each other again. We had been so lost from one another through my growing years but being wrapped by her arms reminded me that she was still the woman I'd admired when I just a girl of six and seven. She was still the heroine I aspired to be, she was still the fairest queen in the kingdom, and she still devoted her life to me as she did then.

Yes, that night I found Lillian Hale but in the meantime I lost bits and pieces of myself.

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**Review please!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Just so you know I chose the name Carol because I read in an interview that Stephanie Meyer had originally named Rosalie Carol until she went through and changed it at the last minute. So I ****thought the name Carol would be fitting.**

**Also I am in the process of changing the ending a little bit so Chapter 10 might not be until Saturday… although I'm going to try really hard to get it up Friday!**

**Enjoy!**

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A woman is like a tea bag—you cant tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

A week later I took the train to Gatlinburg which took two days time, and after all that travel those two days and all that crying the days before I was emotionally and physically worn.

As I stepped off the train platform the chill hit me first and I tightened my fur shawl around my neck and buttoned the top button on my camel wool coat.

"Ms. Hale" the car boy said leading me away from the train car carrying my suitcase and over towards the entrance of the train station. I didn't have to beg my parents to let me come to Tennessee, they knew how important this was. But since the trip was so long daddy got me a private car with my own car boy named Daniel who was the sweetest thing and kept me company by playing chess with me even though he wasn't supposed to. "Do you know who is coming for you?" he asked.

"A woman named McCarty, she said she'd be in a red Chevy truck" I told him looking for the truck. From up the dusty road I could make out a rusted orange/red truck which I assumed to be Mrs. McCarty. "That there is her!" I pointed out.

Daniel looked skeptical once the truck drew closer. "Are you sure Ms. Hale?"

"Positive, she has Emmett's eyes" I noted as I watched her park the vehicle. Out of the truck came a small woman wrapped in a weathered dark blue coat. She didn't look well, as if she had worried too much and spent her nights awake trying to shake these worries. I expected someone maybe taller or larger, just because Emmett is so tall and broad. But his mother was his opposite. A petite lady, smaller than me came towards me with outstretched arms.

"I assume your Rosalie?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am" I held out my hand but she pulled me in for a hug instead.

"When my son said you beautiful I thought he was just blinded by love but you are in fact the prettiest thing I've ever seen."

"Why thank you" I smiled at her embrace while I watching Daniel load my cases into her trunk. "Here you are Daniel, thank you for keeping me company through my travels" I handed him a tip and he dipped his hat towards me.

"Safe travels Ms. Hale."

I got into the passengers seat of the old truck and watched as Mrs. McCarty drove carefully to her home. I wish I could learn how to drive, I would feel much more independent if I could.

But we drove and I listened to Mrs. McCarty express her gratitude towards me on behalf of my travels to Tennessee even though I really didn't deserve it.

Tennessee was filled with trees, for miles all I saw was dead greenery and I could smell fresh air unfiltered by smog and gasoline that drenched New York City.

About twenty minutes passed and we drove down a long dirt road under a blanket of branches that I assumed in the spring time once the leaves grew back would provide a cool shade for anyone sitting beneath them. We pulled up to a house made of logs, like a cabin. But it wasn't a standard square cabin, it was actually a quite large home nestled in the woods of Tennessee. There was a stream just to the side of the house that flowed far off in the distance and on the porch were rocking chairs.

Mrs. McCarty parked the truck and tried to remove my suitcases from the bed of the truck but I wouldn't let her. I didn't want her to strain herself in effort to help me. She ushered me inside to get out of the cold and immediately I was welcomed by the scent of fresh pine wood being burned in the fireplace. I liked Emmett's home, it reminded me of Bella's because it had that family home gathering feel to it. My home was decorated with the last fashions of the 1940s but this home encompassed decorations of the sensible sort that held family meaning.

From the kitchen came a young girl who resembled Emmett as a young female mirror. She had a dishcloth in her hands and that infectious childlike smile that graced Emmett's face. I smiled back at her because she reminded me so much of him.

He had written to me about his younger sister Carol once saying that she was the only thing left in his mothers life since his two older brothers had already been taken by the war. When he wrote me about Carol he said that he was very protective of her, more so than me. He said he knew I was strong, he knew I could take care of myself and take care of those around me. But Carol couldn't. She was too tenderhearted, she believed honestly, and she wanted nothing more than to see only the good in the world. And he said this as if it was a negative thing, but the truth was I was that girl as well. I was Carol. And in looking at her I didn't only see a physical mirror of Emmett but an emotional mirror of myself. She hadn't even said a word to me in that moment but somehow I could tell that Carol McCarty was Rosalie Hale five years ago. She was a idealist, a dreamer, a reader, a romantic, but more than anything she was scared that she wouldn't get all she wanted out of life. That time was too short and too fleeting to bring her what she wanted.

"Are you Rosalie?" she asked delicately with her soft feminine voice.

"Yes I am" I answered.

She looked at me in awe, it was the kind of look that a young girl often shows to a woman of higher knowledge. I remember looking that way fondly at my brothers girl Anna who to me seemed like the model of perfection. She was stunning with her chestnut hair and long legs, she was like the older sister I'd always wanted.

"Your so pretty" she said.

"Carol don't grape" Mrs. McCarty chastised gently reminding me of my own mother.

"Sorry mama."

"Can you take Rose to her room and help her settle in?" Mrs. McCarty asked.

"Of course," she put down her dishtowel and grabbed my other suitcase and lead me down a hallway to a quiet little boys room with a plaid quilt on the and toy soldiers lining the dresser.

"Is this Emmett's room?" I asked her.

"No this is my other brothers room, mom wont change it though. She wont change any of the rooms" she replied. "Do you want to unpack your things? Or do you want to rest?"

"We can unpack" I said looking at the little details around the room, like the growth marks on the back of the door and children's stories in a basket by the bed. It was sweet looking fondly on someone else's childhood.

I took off my fur shawl and placed in the bed along with my camel coat and went ahead to unlock my trunks.

"Is that real?" she eyed the shawl I had just tossed on the bed.

"Yes, I want to say its fox" I answered pulling out my black wool coat and placing it on a hanger.

"Can I feel it?" she asked.

"Go right ahead" I offered and she caressed the soft fur in appreciation. "Do you like it?"

"Of course! Its so soft and warm."

"You can have it then, I have another back home just like it."

"No I can't take it. I'd have no where to wear it" she shook her head and placed it back on the bed gently.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I would look quite silly going to school with a fox shawl, the girls would think I am a fashion model or something" she laughed tightly and placed my shawl on in a dressing box.

…

Emmett wasn't transferred from the Nashville hospital for a couple of days. I don't know what I was expecting to see once I finally got to see him. I had built up this moment for months now but I was nervous to finally see him. My heart beat faster than a railcar and I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress.

I was anticipating to see him injured, a limb missing or perhaps blind but I was expecting anything other than seeing him lie there motionless. No smile on his face, no color in his cheeks, no life it seemed.

"Is he asleep?" Carol asked her mother as we looked down at Emmett lying on the table. A bloody bandage wrapped his head and scabbed over cuts scarred his face. His lip was busted and the remains of dried blood lined the cut. His left arm was wrapped in a sling and his thick curly brown hair was matted to his head.

"I don't know. I am going to get a doctor" Mrs. McCarty rushed out worried.

I heard sniffles from the doorway and saw Carol crying softly.

"Now, now Carol. Don't cry" I said reaching out to her and hugging her tightly to my chest.

"How can I not? I've already lost two brothers and daddy, I cannot lose Emmett too" she cried.

And although I wanted to cry along with her I couldn't because I felt I had to be strong for her. She looked up to me as I did to Anna so many years ago.

"I'm sure he's just resting" I assured her until the doctor came in.

"Why isn't he responding?" Mrs. McCarty asked.

"Your son is comatose" the doctor stated.

"Comatose? What does that mean?"

"He's had severe head trauma. His body is trying to heal itself with rest."

"So he is sleeping? He'll be alright?"

The doctor made a weird face. "In essence he is in a deep sleep. Will he be alright? Only time can tell. We don't really know how long he will remain comatose. These things can last for a few days, to a few years or longer."

"But there is a chance he'll be fine?" Mrs. McCarty asked all she need to hear was some good news in the hopes of her son. A coma—whatever this thing was—didn't sound that bad. He was just sleeping. He would wake up. Wouldn't he?

"There is a chance yes."

"How do we get him to wake up?" Carol asked now.

"There is no way to wake him up. His body has to wake him. But there have been some more radical studies on comatose patients and science has proven that those patients who have family talk to them come out of their state faster than those who do not have anyone at all by their side" the doctor said solemnly.

We sat there for a while, no one wanting to talk just watching Emmett's chest rise and fall with rhythm of his breathing. I didn't cry that day because I had convinced myself that he was just asleep, he would wake soon. Yes, he would wake soon.

"It's getting late, Carol needs to get to bed for school tomorrow" Mrs. McCarty stood to leave.

"Do you mind if I stay?" I asked her knowing she'd have to go to work in the morning. Since I had been with them it was a routine for Mrs. McCarty to drive to work in the morning and for Carol to walk to school with some friends and I would stay at the house and entertain myself with a book or explore the forest or find something to busy my time. I'd much rather be here with Emmett.

"Come Rose, get some rest tonight. I'll bring you here in the morning before I leave for work okay?" Mrs. McCarty asked patting my back.

"That's alright."

…

I couldn't sleep that night as I thought about Emmett in his comatose condition. I tossed sheets off the bed and flopped like a fish but sleep would not prevail me. I got up and draped my robe over my shoulders to head to the kitchen for a glass of milk.

I assumed Carol and Mrs. McCarty were already both asleep but I tried to be as quiet as possible but the door creaked as I opened it. I tiptoed to the kitchen and made it there without relatively a sound besides the old wooden floors adjusting to my weight. I opened the refrigerator and withdrew the glass bottle of milk.

"Rose?" I heard Mrs. McCarty's voice ask from the family room where a fire was dying down in the fireplace.

"Sorry, I was just getting a glass of milk" I said nervously feeling like a child with their hand caught in the cookie jar.

"No—no please darling your welcome to milk of course. I didn't mean to startle you, I just assumed you were Carol. She's a little night owl" Mrs. McCarty smiled softly but you could tell her mind was elsewhere.

I reached for a glass in the cupboard. "Would you like a glass as well?" I asked her.

"No thank you dear."

I continued to pour my milk and replace the milk bottle back on its shelf in the refrigerator. I went to the family room and sat opposite Mrs. McCarty on the couch drawing my legs up.

I took in Mrs. McCarty and saw how frail she was. This war had really done an episode on her. I never knew her before the war but I could see the photograph of her and her late husband and I could see she wasn't all she used to me.

"If I lost Emmett I couldn't live with myself any longer" she said holding a photograph in her hands. "My husband was taken by this godforsaken war, my eldest sons were taken by this war and if I didn't have my sweet Carol I would die before this war took my Emmett."

I didn't say anything to her statement but I sipped my milk and continued to listen.

"He had a wild childhood. He was my wild child" she smiled at a private memory. "He didn't worry about anything this one. To this day besides Carol, myself, and you he doesn't worry about much. He can't say no to mashed potatoes or a glass of beer. He loves to hunt game. When this house was full of life those boys could hunt for days and bring back meat for all of Gatlinburg."

I liked hearing her talk about Emmett, she spoke so fondly of him. She reached over and shared the photograph she had in her hand. I took it and looked at an old school picture of Emmett's. His dark hair was its usual curly mess and his smile held a childlike wonder that I don't think he ever lost sight of. His dimples were poking through his cheeks in laughter and I in that moment longed to have a little boy of my own that looked exactly like Emmett.

"I'm glad he's found you. So glad, I know he'll be cared for by you. You have such a gentle, nourishing soul."

"Thank you."

"I need to ask you something dear, don't feel obligated to answer immediately but please think about it" she began and I nodded. "I am not getting any younger. My health is faltering and I believe the world has had its due with me. I'd ask this of a family member but we are a family of first generation Scotch-Irish and I have no family in this country other than my children. I know Emmett will marry you as soon as he can get the money but I don't want him to leave my Carol. He could care for her but she needs a woman's advice and affection. If I leave this earth before my time will you care for her?"

"Of course" I answered immediately. There was no thinking to be done. "I doubt you'll need my caretaking but if it will help you rest tonight knowing I will care for her as well rest assured that I will bring her into my home and cherish Carol as if she was my own sister or daughter."

She reached over and clasped my hands gently with wet eyes. "Thank you darling, thank you."

…

I looked down at Emmett the next morning with wonder. I began to wonder what he was thinking in that moment, or if he was even thinking at all. I began to wonder what tales he had wrapped up in that mind of his and also what terrors. I wondered if he was comfortable resting like this, was his comatose state a pleasant one to be in?

So many questions went unsolved as I stared at his languid face.

For a week I did that. I wondered things about him, about his past and future. I watched his stubble turn into a beard and took note of how dramatically different he looked with facial hair that hid his dimples.

"Are you going to talk to him?" I heard a voice behind me ask and I jumped at the sound. It was just his doctor.

"He can't hear me. What is talking going to help?" I asked once my heartbeat had dropped back to its normal pace.

"The body is a strange machine. The small act of conversation could bring him out of his state all the more sooner" the doctor said jotting some things on a clipboard.

"Isn't conversation defined as a two person discussion? It would be completely one sided" I informed him.

"Perhaps it would be one sided but I'm sure he'd appreciate the sound of your voice."

"But I don't know what to say" I looked down at my fingers.

"You don't have to say anything. Read to him, read the newspaper, a book, letters. Just let him hear you voice."

So the following day I went back to the hospital and brought all the letters Emmett has ever sent me.

"Hi Emmett" I began stroking his cool hand. I took it in mine and oddly enough it still felt like it did all those nights ago in the dance hall. Protective, strong, loving. Nothing had changed. "I don't know what to say so I am going to read to you all the beautiful letters you wrote me while you were away. Hopefully these letters will remind you that you have someone waiting to see you smile again."

I took out the first letter I got from him and began "Darling Rosalie, Your letters have brightened up my day and touched the core of my soul in ways you cannot understand—"

I read of letter by letter. I had read these so many times I practically had them memorized.

For a few days that's all I did was read his old letters expecting him to suddenly wake but he remained somber. Upon my third week in Gatlinburg I saw one of the nurses shaving him and replace his razor and cream into the cupboard underneath the sink.

"What's that?" I asked looking at the duffle bag on the bottom shelf.

"His knapsack. Most of the soldiers that come here have one. Although some of them get left behind or forgotten. Usually all the momentous they have are carried in a knapsack" she said on her way out the door.

Once she was gone I went to grab the knapsack removing a blanket, a couple of pairs of socks, a granola bar, amongst other miscellaneous items. In a plastic bag though were envelopes upon envelopes. Many of them were from his mother and Carol but the rest were from me. My photographs were in there as well, the edges weathered down but the image still clear as day. I didn't read the letters from his mother and sister because that seemed just a bit too invasive but I did withdraw my own letters, and that was the day I began to read my own letters to him, reminiscing on the time of day I wrote them, where I wrote them, and my feelings as I wrote them.

It wasn't until my third day reading my letters that his fingers began to twitch in my hand. The movement frightened me as I stared down at his hand in mine.

"Do it again my love, go ahead" I encouraged him. His fingers moved once again and I let out a cry of glee. "Come on, again!"

Slowly but surely his hands moved, the muscles in his taunt arms began to flex with movement, his leg moved and his toes pointed and flexed. I rubbed his arm encouragingly pushing him on.

His eyes fluttered softly then tightly his eyelids drew into each other and I stood over him. "Emmett, Emmett my love."

His brilliant blue eyes were staring up at me and I felt my eyes begin to water. I had dreamt about this moment when I would be able to see his eyes again, to touch him, and love him.

"Emmett" I said my voice getting caught in my throat. "Emmett? Speak to me darling."

He kept searching my face, scanning it with his eyes switching from my hair to my nose to my chin.

"Angel" he his voice was hoarse.

"No, my name is Rose" I stroked his face. "Rose darling, remember, Rosalie, my love."

"You're an angel" he muttered again before his eyes closed again and he drifted into oblivion.

I ran from his room and over to the nurses station. "Please get a doctor, something is wrong with Emmett" I said hurriedly.

A doctor was found and came with me to Emmett's room.

"What's happened?" the doctor asked checking the machines he was hooked up to.

"He—he woke up and he didn't remember me. He called me Angel, my name is Rosalie, and he just went back to sleep."

"All normal for a man in his condition. But its good that he's come to, we'll see how he is tomorrow."

"That's it?" I asked. "You can't make him remember me?" I asked desperately.

"There is nothing I can do to make him remember you. His memory will come back to him eventually, these things take time" the doctor said calmly but my heart was beating out of my chest. He didn't remember me...

…

He didn't wake up again for two more days but when he did he was there, all of him. I was gazing into the eyes of a man who remembered me in every way possible.

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**Review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry I couldn't get this chapter up yesterday as originally anticipated. As I was reading over the original ending I decided I wanted to make some changes… some that took longer than expected obviously. **

**But I'm just glad I got it up, I've been burnt out this month and FF is starting to compete with college at the moment. **

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The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. The inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.

-Sir Hugh Walpole-

A few weeks went by and I had to go back to New York unfortunately. Emmett stayed in the hospital for a while after he first woke from his coma and his arm was mended back to health, the stiches from his head wound had been removed and only a light scar remained. He was healed from the outside but there were things he saw over there that he would never forget, things he didn't share but he could never heal from.

I didn't want to go but he had persuaded me otherwise.

"We can get married now, right now" I urged him as we walked outside in the frigid air by the river behind his home.

"I cannot marry you now, it wouldn't be honest."

"I don't care about honesty, I care about you," I said to him but he was looking off into the distance. I took his face in my hands and turned it down to mine, staring into his gorgeous blue eyes. "Look at me, I love you and that's all that matters."

"I can't provide for you," he said softly. "I can't maintain the life you live."

"That doesn't matter—" I started to say.

"You say that now because you're in love but five years from now when you have to mend your own dresses or have to take on work you'll think differently."

"I wont, I promise you I wont."

"I can't ask you to live less that your standard. Any man in your circle could give you every desire, every trinket."

"But I don't want desires and trinkets, I want you and only you" I begged of him.

"I love you too much to make you suffer. I promise you I will marry you as soon as I can give you the world."

I turned away from him upset then and he chased me down. "I'll be waiting on you forever then. You shouldn't make promises you cant keep."

"I will keep this promise. I _will_ give you the world."

"Oh Emmett, if only you understood that the world to me isn't beautiful dresses and trinkets, its just you and I and the family we'll have together. That's all I want is precious little babies with curly brown hair, baby blue eyes, and dimples for days."

"Then I will give you that world" he kissed my forehead with so much tenderness it nearly shook me, I couldn't remain vexed at him. I loved him too much for that.

We didn't let distance separate us. I went back to New York but I did not get my job back at the factory, apparently I was gone too long and they had already replaced me. So I went in search of something else to fill my time. Although my parents supported my choice to love whomever I wanted what they did not support was the notion of me working a commonplace job at a haberdashery shop.

So I enrolled in a college.

Since I couldn't get into Columbia no matter how hard daddy tried to convince the alumni they just wouldn't accept a woman, I attended the next best option Barnard.

I learned a lot of interesting things there on philosophy and religion and sciences (science has always come easily to me) and womens studies. But I wasn't satisfied. As wonderful as it was to have my brain enriched by knowledge I was not yet fulfilled. As I waited for Emmett I was a 21 year old spinster. Vera had married her childhood sweetie and had a little baby boy named Henry. She seemed happy. She had a husband who looked at her the way every young girl wants to be looked at and she had a baby who needed her. She had everything I wanted. And I wasn't being a rotten girl for getting an education and throwing it away on society, as my women's studies professor said. I just wanted to be loved. Was that too much to ask for? Textbooks cannot hold you at night; neither can scholarly essays and journals, nor lectures from intellects. They cannot dry your tears and kiss you goodnight. These things cannot love you. And I have the kind of soul that not only seeks knowledge but also desperately desires love.

These few years were a hard time for me as I watched all my friends get married and have children while I stuck my nose in books to mask tears of envy.

I loved Emmett but I wondered if waiting for him was the best choice, I was lonely and sad and seeking some form of fulfillment.

Looking back on those years I really believe they were beneficial for me. As much as I hated them at the time they allowed me to truly learn about myself before I gave some version of myself to someone else. I cherished those years in retrospect because I had an opportunity so many young girls didn't.

And when I came to that realization I came to another… I was selfish. I was completely and utterly selfish. From what I had learned of the institution of marriage from textbooks and seen from my friend's relationships was that marriage wasn't about you. It was about the person you loved. It was about raising a family and living your life with someone you adore, not about my own wishes. So it was very selfish of me to even entertain the notion that I couldn't marry Emmett when truth was I would have waited my entire life to be with Emmett because there is no one else I would have rather wanted to spend my life with.

Luckily he didn't test this proclamation and just as promised Emmett came for me. He asked my father for my hand and daddy just said, "It's about damn time" and months later we were married. It was a grand extravagant affair that was talked about for weeks and published in every newspaper in Manhattan.

Emmett had bought a little townhouse on the steps of a quiet little street corner in upper Manhattan. It was a good distance from my parent's home but not terribly far. When we were first married I worried that Emmett would become like other men (i.e. my father and his associates) now that he had a more professionsl job but he didn't.

Those few years he spent from me were taken up at a shipyard in Charleston, South Carolina where he became good friends with W. Hendrix the owner of W. Hendrix Shipping Co. Apparently he took a particular liking to Emmett because he reminded him of his son (in work ethic and personality) who had fallen in war the year before. He quickly promoted Emmett from a ship hand to a more prestigious position and again months later, and so on and so forth until he was right underneath Hendrix in the chain of command. He was molding Emmett to take his place. He had promised Emmett that once he chose to retire or the world chose to take him the company would be his and he could run it from New York to be nearer to me. Hendrix has not yet chosen to retire but he has chosen to expand his company to the New York ports which allowed Emmett to come here and marry me because Hendrix needed someone to take care of the New York field which was Emmett's job.

Like I said before I thought Emmett would become like my father and neglect me for his job or think less of the people that worked beneath him but it was contrary to that idea. Emmett often worked alongside the ship hands when he had little business to tend to and would come home with his suit torn and dirty. He very much remembered his place amongst those men and didn't think higher of himself because he had gotten lucky and formed a relationship with Hendrix.

While Emmett was at work I busied myself with my home and frequently took visits to my friends homes and I think it is only fitting that I tell how they have fared.

Mary Alice and Jasper married years ago as soon as his feet touched land they were at the courthouse. But Jasper continued his career in the military at West Point Academy where he trained the newest and brightest of the United States military. They lived on base but visited as often as they could only being a few hours away. By Jasper's side were his wife Alice and her little girl Lucy who was the embodiment of Alice in miniature form. Currently Alice was pregnant with another child to add to their family. As for her sister Cynthia, she passed years back at Greystone Park. The medical examiners claimed her death was caused of natural occurrences for a person with her "mental instability" but I've always thought that she was treated poorly and somehow Greystone Park itself murdered young Cynthia. Although I have nothing to prove this theory and it is only speculation it was something I thought about frequently when I was reminded of Cynthia.

Bella and Edward were also married. They lived just down the street from Emmett and I with their two boys, EJ (Edward jr. whose name I often teased Edward about in relation to the fact that he is now a senior) and Masen. Edward did follow his father's footsteps and went for a medical career and became a leading pioneer for new surgical techniques alongside his father, and once Cynthia passed he championed reform in mental health facilities. He was truly a visionary. Bella, never one to let idleness take her and became a teacher. She taught little boys and girls at the local elementary school while also caring for her own boys. She was a wonder woman, I don't know how she did it but she did and you could never catch her complaining or without a smile on her face. She was so happy and fortunate for her life that she said she had no reason to frown.

I on the other hand had reason to be despondent. Two years into the most wonderful marriage I could ever ask for I was cursed with a miscarriage. It tore me to pieces; it broke me down to a point where I thought I would never return to see daylight. Every night I cried to sleep and every night Emmett held me and we mourned our little boy that left us all too soon.

"It's alright my dear" Emmett whispered. "Sometimes these things happen, you cannot let this one misfortune discourage you."

"If I cannot carry a child as all women can what kind of woman am I?" I cried.

"You're my kind of woman. No matter if you have no children or a hundred you'll always be my girl Rose, always" he kissed my forehead and held me as I continued to cry. "But I know how important this is to you, and I feel awful that I cannot give you the world I promised you."

For months this went on. I was so hopeless I didn't even want to try to have another a child. I wanted the one I lost even though I knew I would never get him back. I went to the doctor and I was told the likelihood of me having children on my own was very slim to none. This news discouraged me so much. All I wanted was a family of my own and now that small desire would never come to me.

It wasn't for another year that I even knew I was pregnant again. I was visiting my mother for tea and she kept looking at me strangely.

"What mother? You've been eyeing me like I've got the plague all afternoon."

My mother just shook her head and sipped her tea in that dotty way of hers and said "Oh it's nothing darling, only your pregnant."

My eyes widened and my hand flew to my stomach impulsively.

"No it's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible my dear, you are carrying life within you, I can tell I'm a mother myself and I've gone through the process, I know. In fact if I were a betting woman I'd be willing to wage that the little one nestled in your stomach is a girl."

When I told Emmett the news we went to the doctor to confirm my mothers notions and immediately Emmett took gentler care of me. He didn't let me lift a finger or want for anything. This baby was his way of keeping that silly promise of giving me the world and he was intent on keeping it. So for nearly nine months I was confined to my house on Emmett's and the doctor's orders. I walked around the gardens some and occasionally if I wasn't feeling too ill I would cross the street to the Cullen's home for afternoon tea. But overall the pregnancy was a difficult one. I had a nurse live-in with me to make sure I didn't lose this one. I had to fight every morning just to get out of bed and this baby kicked up a mighty fit in stomach making me ill and malnourished but I survived and so did she.

January 1, 1949 I gave birth to a healthy baby girl of 7 pounds and 2 ounces named Violet Marion McCarty. Emmett chose the name, Violet because of the peculiar shade of my eyes and Marion because it was his late mothers name. Mrs. McCarty passed a few months after we married of natural causes and illness and I kept my promise to her to take in young Carol. Carol though was not so young anymore pushing the age of 19 now. She had lived with us for a few months and worked in a ladieswear store just down the street on Fifth Avenue. She came to me for advice on life one night and asked what she should do—she like myself once was confused with what direction she wished to take. I told her I couldn't give her the answers to the world but I suggested that she start at a university. A few months later she enrolled in my alma mater Barnard and moved out of our house and into a dormitory. To my knowledge she was enjoying herself there and often came to visit after classes or on weekends.

But since she was gone the house was again empty except for myself and my baby Violet. Violet was the most precious little creature to ever grace this earth. She had my curly blonde hair but Emmett's beautiful blue eyes and dimples.

Emmett was enraptured by this little baby. She was wrapped around his finger tighter than his wedding ring. Every day after work he would come home and bring her a new toy, a new teddy bear, new ribbons or anything he thought would fancy her. He invited us both down the shipyard frequently so he could "show off his beautiful girls" as he put. He loved Violet so tenderly and he loved me so passionately that I could reflect on life and not change anything. Not a single breath, not a wink, not a smile.

If I could repeat life again I would do it all the same but I would cherish every moment all the more.

My family was beautiful, my life was beautiful. I had finally achieved everything I thought I wouldn't. That was up until 1964. Emmett was 42, I was 39, and little Violet was 15. She hated when I called her little Violet and withdrew from me everyday.

The world had changed significantly since she was born. The Great War for America ended in 1945, but there were other worldly conflicts that consumed the American mindset. In 1950 there was the Korean War and there was also the Vietnam War in 1960, in 1961 there was the Bay of Pigs invasion, and on November 22, 1963 President Kennedy was assassinated.

But amongst the chaos of the outwardly world there was always a calm about my home that I took refuge in. I took care of my husband and daughter and loved them both, I lived for them. I understood what Mrs. McCarty meant when she said that if the war took Emmett she would find it hard to go on without him. If anything happened to either of them I don't know what I would do with myself.

Emmett was wonderful he always was, at times I believed he loved me more today than the previous day or the days farther than that, and even the years. He still brought me flowers after work and said I was the most beautiful woman in the world. He spoiled me rotten and humored me with his antics. He was an incredible father to Violet, always hands on in his parenting whenever possible and Vi took direct advantage of his kindness and was labeled "daddy's little girl."

But Violet and I had a different relationship. I always said I would not become my mother. I just wouldn't. She was overbearing and controlling and demanding and proper and lived with her head stuck in the 19th century. Guess who I became?

"Sit up straight darling."

"Don't scamper."

"Be mindful of the young gentleman you associate yourself with."

And Violet did the exact same thing I used to do. Roll her eyes and listen politely not hearing a word I said. It was like I was looking into a time-lapsed mirror. I remember it as I remember my relationship with my mother. It was complex. Were all mother daughter relationships like this? I assumed enough when Alice said she had the same problem with Lucy.

This difference didn't last forever though. Eventually grew up into a young woman I was proud to call my daughter (but that wasn't for many years) and I was saddened when she chose to go to college far from home in North Carolina.

She adored the Beatles and was a feminist (much to her grandmothers disdain). She was a youth activist and support human rights, African American rights, gay rights, animal rights, women's rights, and overall equality. She believed in so much I frequently worried for her safety, especially in the south being at the height of the Civil Rights Movement. She took part in the marches and bus rides and all the underground politicking that went on.

"Mama, I'm not afraid to die young," she said once when she came home for Christmas, it was one of the last times I saw her before she completely changed and began to morph into her generations social characterization of a 'hippie'. "What I am afraid of is living until I'm old and grey and never believing in anything. I was born into privilege. I was born a human. I was born heterosexual. I was born white. I was born into a class of luxury. I was lucky. I have to stand up for the people who are denied every right I take advantage of."

She was strong willed like I was once upon a time but was kind like Emmett and loving and generous. I was sad that she was gone from me but I knew she would resent me if I didn't let her go. And the truth was I couldn't hold her back. So I supported her.

I supported her when she dropped out of college. I supported her when she called us in the middle of the night at a jailhouse in Alabama. I supported her when she was engaged to an anti-war hippie who drove her across the country in a flower van (granted I didn't support this life choice but I support her as my daughter). I also supported her when her fiancée left her at a nudist camp in San Francisco. Sure she didn't make the best decisions throughout her youth but unlike my mother I knew there were some things you just had to learn on your own. No matter how much I warned her she wouldn't listen until she experienced it herself, her love, her heartbreak, her loneliness…

Emmett didn't understand why I kept letting her make these mistakes. He was the one that was really upset over her decisions.

"Lets just go and pick her ass up from whatever commune she's smoking marijuana in and haul her back home. Her no good fiancée is the one who made her go all the way to California" he said one night pacing the living room floor when we got an impromptu call from Violet while obviously high on some kind of drug.

"Trust me Emmett. We can't force her to come home. She'll come when she's ready."

"Rose, you don't understand. That's my little girl out there. Out there doing god knows what with god knows who."

"She's just as much my little girl as she is yours but you have to trust me Emmett. We're treading on light water. There was a time when my mother tried to pry me from your arms" I reminded him.

"That's different," he muttered.

"It's no different and you know it. She'll come back to us, I promise" I reached up and kissed his cheek.

Just as I promised she came home. Weary from two years of constant travel throughout the United States she went back to college and remained there this time getting a degree in political science. She became engaged to an ad man and married him in 1973.

With Violet gone from us physically, and mentally as well since we no longer had to worry about her wellbeing it was just Emmett and I again. Our lives had slowed to a pace of comfortable companionship and each day I could honestly say I knew more about him than the last. Every day I worried less and less, and as I've said before worry kills and I was finally living. We grew together as every hour passed and we became so close in spirit that it brought me to tears one night just thinking about it.

"Why are you crying" Emmett asked softly that night as we lay in our bed. I blinked away the tears and took in the change of his face. His curly brown hair had thinned and was now traced with grey buggers. His laugh lines were permanently set from the joys of raising Violet. His eyes still burned a vibrant blue but were masked by weathered lids that had crinkled together from squinting because he refused to wear glasses. Most of the time his eyes were happy and jovial because they displayed Emmett's inner being. But other times his eyes were despondent and fearful. I thought of this every time I looked at the scar next to his hairline. I knew it was the consequence of war but that was a topic we talked about very infrequently. He wasn't fond of his time spent overseas and was not the type to talk about it. So we didn't. I asked about it only once because I knew it took him to a place that was hard for him to escape from.

He was guilty. His conscience was burdened with the knowledge that he had taken a life. He didn't go into details but he said it was a young girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Emmett tried to get the girl before the bomb went off but couldn't reach her in time. That was how he ended up with his head injury. He said once that he thought about her everyday, he had nightmares about her at night, and he prayed that she had made her way to heaven. He had received a Purple Heart award that I wanted to display on the mantle but he took it down saying it was wrong to award someone an honor for cowardice. So the Purple Heart sat in a box in our attic and has not been touched for years. But the sadness I saw in Emmett's eyes when he thought about the war weighed heavy on me sometimes. Somehow we always got through it together.

"I don't know," I said finally reminiscing on all the lovely times we shared and the not-so-lovely ones as well. "I was just thinking how far we've come. We're nearing the end and I don't want to let you go."

"You say that like it is a bad thing" he chuckled and took my hand in his. That same sense of protection I had when we met decades ago never vanished. Although our bodies became aged I believe he could still hold me and shield me as he did before. "Don't cry over empty time my love. We will never be as young as we are right now. We will always keep getting older but remember that I love you, and that is the beginning of everything."

_I loved him, and that was the beginning of everything. _

* * *

**That my friends is the end. I know not everyone loves R/E but I do and I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I loved writing it. **

**If anyone is interested I am going to be publishing a fluffy R/E story soon. I've been working on it on and off for a good bit but it should be posted sometime in December during Christmas holidays when I'll have much more time to write since I won't be in college or working during that time. **

**Anyways.. Leave one last final review!**


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